Why am I always attracted to the wrong men?

[D456]

Not really sure what I’m looking for but just a bit of support would be appreciated.

I really just feel like I’m never with the right kind of men. My ex was very abusive (both emotional and physical) and my current partner (although we’re not really together as such now) has a drink problem and can too get very abusive when he’s drinking.

The thing is I’m in my early 20’s so I know I have time on my hands but I feel as though I’m only attracted to very few guys. I have met a lot in my past and pretty much every one of them has been either abusive or untrustworthy. The ones that have been interested and I can see would probably be trustworthy I am never attracted too both physically and emotionally.

I have had a bit of a tough upbringing with a father who was here and there due to drink problems, maybe it’s because of this?? I just feel as though I am drawn to all the wrong people and find it very hard to let them go, despite the fact I want very different things to them (a future with kids, financially stable etc). I haven’t really got any close friends which again I feel is another thing I struggle with and find it hard to really form close relationships other than with these men that aren’t suitable for me.

Maybe someone has been in a similar position/ can offer some advice?

I just feel as though I’m continuing the broken relationships I had with my parents as a child but these are the only people I seem to be attracted to and take back despite everything that happens between us?!

Anyway, thank you for taking your time to read!!

Well the first step is recognizing you have a problem!

Now you know what you don't want - you can work out what you do want

Relationships aren't about initial attraction/lust/etc

Love is more like an even keel, steady, less drama, likening and respecting each other and wanting the same things.

You don't have to jump into every relationship, start saying no until you like than as people.

There's no need to have a relationship anyway especially if you're only in your early 20's. What's the hurry? All the time in the world for that. Some of the happiest people I know are singletons. My ex that I met at 23 (and had a baby with) was an alcoholic and guess what? Like father, like son! I didn't realise you have to be so careful when choosing a father for your children. You might not be at this stage, yet but nature rules over nurture!