Why do MIL always side with their ds

[PollyGasson24]

Even when he's proved to be a lying bastard? I give up.

They don’t always. But wouldn’t you stick up for your own child and believe his/her side of the story?

Mine doesn't. She's great at standing up for her DILs & calling her sons out. BUT if it was 50/50 she'd probably side with them.

Millicent not if he'd been a shit, no.

Trouble is, I wouldn't necessarily believe he'd been a shit...........

Blood's thicker than water I guess. They believe the best of their sons, and support them in public even in they're disappointed behind closed doors.

The biological need to protect your offspring, maybe?

My mil refuses to get involved in anything.

I don't think they do always. My DM is more likely to side with my DH but my MIL has my back

Mother's tend to "side" with their own children, whether those children are male or female. It's not that shocking tbh.

Blood being thicker than water/biological desire to protect your own child etc

Mine doesn’t; she knows her son isn’t perfect/can be an idiot but if we split then obviously her alliance would be to him

I think it’s better if in laws do n’t get involved, it’s unhealthy and shows a lack of boundaries.

Mine doesn’t, she sides with me and tells me to phone her if she needs to kick dh up the bum!
Presuming there’s more to this story, are you ok?

Interesting.
Yes, thx jammie, I think I'm okay now. It was the culmination of something he'd done, I'd emailed mil with the situation at the time, which she totally ignored and emailed him about my sending a weird email. I always thought of her as a pretty good mil, but fil had a few negative opinions of me from the start, so I can see where the alliance will lie on his part. I'm kind of expecting some way of blaming me for dh's behaviour (although I didn't react to it in the best way, I certainly didn't cause it). On the flip side, myself and dh have worked through it, my parents and siblings have said they're fine with dh if I am, no blame or glares going in his direction at all.
I guess it's just how different families operate. And there's a pretty good indication pil think dh should have dropped me years ago. Next time we see them will be awkward!

Why on earth would you email your in-laws and involve them in that way?
My mother in law died 18 months ago. She was always on my side. She lived with us though and I looked after her

What were you expecting from her?

Why see people if you know they don't like you?

Dh and I are always sure to keep our parents out of any issues, I always think it's best for them not to get involved unless absolutely necessary (especially as DM doesn't particularly like dh anyway).

My nan was team Dil til ds provided new grandchildren!

My ex MiL was like this, even when it was irrefutable that he'd been a prick. But then this was a woman who lied about his DV to his ex wife & put me & my DD at risk, so!

My current MiL is wonderful & tends to just stay out of the way. Altho she does have one son who is the blue eyed boy, so perhaps she is a bit more interfering in his relationships. She definitely defends him a lot when he really is being a tit

I emailed because I had told him a while back when trying to get to the truth, and he had assured me, swore blind, he'd been completely truthful and honest, that if anything else came up, I wouldn't keep his poor behaviour to myself as I had done before. At the point at which I wrote the email, he said a divorce would probably be for the best, rather than just admitting the truth. Willing to throw away years and a family because he didn't want to own up and look bad. I guess I was in a way hoping she would contact him and make him realise how stupid that was. And I was certainly angry at the continued gaslighting, even faced with proof. Wasn't really a considered response I guess.
I do have the opinion from the little contact she has made that they're very willing to use me as the reason for his behaviour in some way. (There have been no negative comments regarding his behaviour and no real words of support for me regarding that. )
I do feel v lucky that my family have been supportive, of both of us.

Oh I know that feeling.

I apparently had a clause in my marriage that MIL was included.

Quickly sorted that out with a phone call saying hubby was allergic to latex condoms can she recommend another brand.

Priceless and worked miracles.