To cut contact for good ?

[betterputsomesuncscreenon]

DS’s dad told me the most horrible thing he has ever said. I’m tempted to throw my phone out of my window, so he cannot contact us anymore.

Had a fight about child maintance. DS’s Dad wants to get back with me, he proceeded to tell me the reasons why he doesn’t see DS as often as he should, why he doesn’t support him more, everything is my fault for obstructing their relationship. Failing to take into account the abuse we had to endure from him, and the triad of professionals we had to deal with, when DS was younger, because of his abuse.

Getting on to the argument about child maintance. I told DS dad that if he wants to get back with me, alongside with my list (respecting me, supporting & seeing DS more etc), he needs to give me more child maintance for DS... (I only get £28.00 a week). He expects, DS clothes, shoes, food, therapy to come out of the £28.00 a week.

He made excuses of course and then proceeded to tell me that “He has a new car....”. I then told him oh “You do know that I’m paying £600.00 a month on DS’s priavte therapies, and some of that car money should of gone to supporting DS more and I get so little from Child Maintenance from you.

He got angry and said “Your the one who deprived me of having a normal child, you caused his disability when you accidentally dropped him, it’s your choice to spend £££££ on all those therapies, that’s on you, God is punishing you with DS needs and all your financial burden.

I just cut the call and ... I’m just sitting here crying . His been calling me. But I don’t want nothing to do with him. I don’t want DS to have anything to do with him.

I would cut contact personally, if he won't make the effort. I would at least cut contact until you feel strong enough to hear from this pathetic excuse of a man again.

Ignore his harsh words though, he is trying to find the only thing he can hurt you by saying now. He's angry you left and is using any last thing he can to get back at you.

As he's abusive then why would you even consider getting back with him ? Move on and stay away from him

Hi OP,

Firstly, I really hope you are ok. Sounds like a shit phone call.

Secondly, I'm a little confused. It sounds like you're implying that DS's needs have been brought on as a result of your ex-ps abuse (was this physical?) If so, why on earth is getting back together with him even on the table?!?

You need to take a step back from this man. Take him through the courts for child maintenance and only have contact when it is regarding your son (I.e. where he is picking him up from for his contact time etc.)

Jamber No, I was implying the abuse was the breakdown of our relationship, as he wanted to get back with me.

Absolutely cut contact and go through CMS for maintenance, if you are not already. Yoru post makes it sound as if you are, though - if so, I'm sorry if that's all they are managing to get out of him! If oyu have any evidence that he's earning more or fiddling, get onto them.

But as for the text - if I were you, I would NEVER reply to him again. Never. Doing that will say more, a thousand times more, than any response you could ever come up with. 'I sent that text, I said that unforgivable thing - and she never spoke to me again. Never did I ever have a conversation with the mother of my child, about my child, again. That part of my life and that connection ended with those words.'

Do it. Do it to show him exactly how unforgivable those words were, and also do it for yourself, because you are worth more.

Why are you even wasting oxygen on trying to work out an abuser, never mind taking him back; hopefully this little insight into his character has surely shown you that it's not a good idea at all.