My kids are disrespectful because they’re copying my husband.

[getdownoffthatrightnow]

What do I do? I’m trying to extricate myself from the marriage but he won’t leave the marital home. He belittles me, takes a horrible off hand tone, and calls me names under his breath. The kids are primary age and much as I try and rise above and ignore it, they’re naturally testing boundaries and copying how he speaks to me.

I’m staying as connected as I can with the children, lots of calm positive parenting, 1:1 time, and I’m careful not to mention their dad. What else can I do? I’m worried for them and even whe we do split, what do I do if he tries to turn them against me even more?

I think in the long run kids arent stupid and they’ll see for themselves what he is like and as long as you keep being the bigger person you’ll be the one they go to, not him. What a horrible position you’re in though. At the end of the day you can only control your own actions so just try and ignore him in the knowledge he’s the one who is going to ruin his relationship with his children.

I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this either he leaves or you leave, you cannot stay in this situation . I’m going through the same to a degree, my DCs doesn’t copy him but he undermines me in front of them. When I tell them off he will say” your mummy’s an expert on this” , “ your mummy thinks she knows everything” etc he says it in a very sneering way. Im leaving him and moving out, and I cannot wait to discipline my DCs without having him there.

I have to disagree with Jay i’m afraid. If your children continue to see you treated in this way then yes, they won’t respect him but...they won’t respect you either. You have to try and find a way to extricate yourself from this situation. My own mother stayed way too long with my, I don’t even want to say father as he doesn’t deserve that title, but honestly no I don’t respect her. She subjected us to living like that when she had other options (I know this as an adult) and in my heart i’ll never really forgive her for that. I know you may be stuck now but please don’t let it drift.