What's 'normal'?

[4wheeldrive]

Been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months now and due to things popping up ( bereavement, health issues etc) it still hasn't felt like we've had any routine at all. This is my first relationship since my divorce and bottom line is I just don't know what a normal bf/gf relationship should look like.

I see him twice a week tops. Do Txt every day but not much convo just checking in really. I feel like I want more but I am struggling to see how he would have any more time to see me more. What would you think of as a 'normal' amount of contact at the 7 month mark?

Nobody else to ask who's in a similar situation 😏

Every couple is different. The things that 'popped up' - were they on his side or yours? Or both? Has he mentioned that he would like to see you more?

I’d think once or twice during the week and then seeing each other at some point over the weekend, most weeks, would be normal.

It's been his side that everything has been popping up on. It feels like there is always something going wrong for him. He has said they'll be more time to see each other once things calm down. I suppose if he didn't think it was worth it he would call things off?

If you don't have much to say to each other perhaps you are not that well suited?

What it like when you do see each other? Do you get on well?

When we are together it is great. We get on really well, feels like home when we're together. We make plans to do things in the future when we can just feels like there's still a bit of a wall up after what he's been though. He's still grieving for sure and I'm trying to be as patient as I can and give him space. I just wanted to know what the average amount of 'normal' contact was like really to compare....

Certainly for me, twice a week would be ample time together. I know at least two other people who would say the same. What would be your ideal?

For me at that stage, once at the weekend (e.g. Most is Saturday and Sunday morning) and maybe once during the week.

But texting every day

Certainly for me, twice a week would be ample time together

Couldn’t agree more. A lot of people would find more suffocating after such a short time together

Thank you everyone. Just needed to hear it from someone else who isn't married and can't remember the real beginnings. Think it's just nerves. It's been a long long time since I was at this stage.... Well over 20 years that's for sure!

Yes just sounds like nerves!

With all the things going on with him I think he would have called it off if he wasn't keen.

Enjoy the early months when you don't have to see them every day and make the most of your independence!