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Original poster

Is it possible to fall in love over text?

54 replies

SheepandPigs · 30/04/2018 20:29

Is it possible?

OP posts:
Original poster
SheepandPigs · 30/04/2018 21:08

Of course I have

OP posts:
Rudgie47 · 30/04/2018 21:08

No way!! So you have been texting someone for 3 years and never met them? You've been strung along love.

mummyhaschangedhername · 30/04/2018 21:08

Why haven't you met??

sonjadog · 30/04/2018 21:08

No, I don´t think you can be in love with a real person only via text. You can however be in love with a fantasy of a person. Real love is about so so much more than writing good text messages. If you feel this person have potential to be someone you could love in real life, why not FaceTime or Skype and actually talk properly with him? Then if that works, meet up?

helloflamingogo · 30/04/2018 21:09

Are you cat fishing him OP? Is this a reverse and you want to know if he’s in love with you ?

Original poster
SheepandPigs · 30/04/2018 21:09

Not really... We have been helping each other with our uni work, so it's not been a sexual thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
SheepandPigs · 30/04/2018 21:10

Why would I be cat fishing him? Confused

OP posts:
AmazingPostVoices · 30/04/2018 21:11

No it’s not love.

It’s very easy to present a particular version of yourself by text (or on MN!) but it’s not the real you.

It’s not necessarily deliberately deceitful but it’s not the same as really knowing a person.

Spending three year’s texting someone you haven’t met is a huge risk.

You could be wasting your time on someone who makes your skin crawl in real life. Meanwhile emotionally shutting yourself down from real life relationships.

You are an adult. Why haven’t you ever met up?

Xocaraic · 30/04/2018 21:15

You can fall in love with the IDEA of someone by text and can get huge insight into their personality, likes, dislikes etc. It's a great first step and very foundational.
But you need to feel the person, smell the person, listen to their voice, hear them laugh,watch them eat, see how they treat others and relate to their family, service staff when at a restaurant, how they drive, what annoys them etc. All of these things (and more) is what makes a dynamic work.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 30/04/2018 21:21

Would you like to meet up? Or do you want to keep things as they are?

WhoWants2Know · 30/04/2018 21:22

I've seen it happen, both through twitter crushes and online dating. I've known married couples who started that way, and it worked for them.

helloflamingogo · 30/04/2018 23:20

It seems very odd to refuse to “meet” them in person or over Skype.

DalmatianDots · 30/04/2018 23:33

No.

Definitely not.

You can be in love with the idea of him. Or the idea of being in love. But not with him. You don’t know him.

HeddaGarbled · 30/04/2018 23:45

No.

But that doesn't mean it couldn't develop into love if you actually met.

I think you've deliberately avoided FaceTime and Skype because you enjoy your fantasy relationship and are frightened it won't last in real life.

This isn't healthy. This fantasy relationship is stopping you from having a real relationship, whether with this person or more locally. Be brave and do something.

GirlDownUnder · 30/04/2018 23:57

In the three years you’ve been talking, have either of you had a real life relationship?

LyingLowForABit · 01/05/2018 00:05

Why have you declined Skype etc?

changedmynamex2 · 01/05/2018 06:57

No. Narcissists are great at making you believe a fantasy. You may as well be in love with a character from Corrie.

AnyFucker · 01/05/2018 07:00

Don't be silly

ItsalmostSummer · 01/05/2018 07:01

No. Not all possible. Over text your relationship is more a part of your imagination and incredibly rose-tinted. Sorry love is a whole lot more than texting.

VanillaSugar · 01/05/2018 07:02

Either meet him or end it. This isn’t healthy.

RespoDad · 01/05/2018 07:03

I’m available

Foodylicious · 01/05/2018 07:04

No, I dont think it is.
But I do think it can cause a sense of longing and perhaps an infatuation?

I also think that sadly, the time and effort put in to sustaining and online/text relationship can get in the way of meeting someone lovely in real life.

LoopOnTheRollercoaster · 01/05/2018 07:05

No it isn't love if you don't even want to Skype, let alone meet him.

WanderingTrolley1 · 01/05/2018 07:09

Why don’t you want to skype with him?

topsy2tails · 01/05/2018 07:21

This is nuts!!!!!
Really though???

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