Online dating - full of freaks?

[sunsetheaven]

A friend said most men on online dating - by the time they reach their 30s/40s are fuck ups. I hope not - it's the main way I meet men, but I am starting to wonder if he's right.

Any advice/reassurances please?

I think fuck ups is a bit harsh! Many men have already settled down by that age, so there is going to be a reason they are single, as I suspect there is a reason you are too?

Very harsh. I'm in my 30's, happily single and not too much of a fuck-up! However, it must be said, every man I've met on online dating has been, in fact, a fuck-up.

There's some truth I think to the idea that a lot of the good ones are taken at that age, but there will always be some good ones who come back on the market for perfectly good reasons. I met my DH online when we were both in our late 30's and he's definitely a keeper.

You also have to think about how limited your prospects would be without online dating.

As someone dating in that exact age range, I would so far say that the men I have met or chatted to, still don't seem to want to grow up even if for a brief period they act like they do. Most seem to want to 'go travelling' or act as though they are after more than sex, but then constantly turn the conversation into sex.

I've quite harshly said Tinder is full of rejects to a friend before. I'm sure it's not, but from the few I've met there seemed to be something not quite right about them.

Clearly not all of them are fuck ups, just like not all of us are fuck ups. Depends what your friend meant by that, if he meant divorced/having kids. That doesn't necessarily mean a fuck up. But I would say a lot in that age range are suffering with peter pan syndrome, where they still want to be young and get the girls, so use these online dating sites and apps to do that.

and by 'That doesn't necessarily mean a fuck up.' I mean it doesn't mean a fuck up at all! lol. Some of us just left crappy relationships and are now single and hoping to meet someone decent.

I would kind of agree with your friend though...sadly.

I'm approaching mid 30s and am emotionally healthy - just not managed to settle down with the right one. Now I'm thinking I'll never meet him

From my experience nice men in that age range haven't reached the point v where they are Old yet. 30-40 is prime meet a nice girl who is ten years younger irl and settle down age.

Met my gorgeous husband on Tinder. He's an absolute catch and far from a fuck up. Also, he's six years younger though both now in our 40's so they're not all after younger women. First of all. Put out what you want to attract. Secondly don't be a nutjob about texting. Thirdly, allow things to be mellow and develop organically. Thats my potted guide to attracting and keeping non fuck up gorgeous and lovely types.

I was 27, he was 36. Reader, I married him..

(He's all right, to be honest. Pretty much exactly what I could wish for in a man and we've been together nearly eleven years and have two children. I had some decent dates with random fellas before meeting him, too. OLD away!)

Thank you for the positive stories!