How do I do this??

[mumonedge]

Hi all
Just after some advice.
I've been having what is probably now classed as an emotional affair with a colleague. It started as friends, huge amounts in common and similar niche interests. Went to a couple of events together etc. My husband checked out over 2 years ago and we are parents to our two DD's 5 and 2. We say I love you, occasionally go out for dinner and movies but doesn't feel like it should. Stilted conversation, talk about the kids and that's it. We occasionally sleep together but again I always feel like it's just sex not the fact it's with me. We have had a lot of issues that have bought us to this point. He says he is making more effort and he is but I feel it's too late. My Emotional Affair - is also in a relationship and has from the outset when we first started talking stated although he loves her they met when he was mentally recovering from depression and she had got out of a bad relationship. He's Mr People Pleaser, Fix-It so naturally came together. I have decided I need to get out of my marriage. I don't know how to do this. I work part time, I have little income, everything we have is his. Me and Emotional affair have decided to go NC Until our situations have changed. We aren't planning to be together but being in touch we both feel clouds our judgement. My dilemma is how do I deal with this NC, I'm so used to seeing him and talking to him all the time, not necessarily sexy talk but general day to day. It's killing me. I'm currently on a break from work to deal with some other health issues with my DD but worried about going back, and seeing him, it wouldn't be everyday like once every couple weeks or so.

Does anyone have any tips with dealing with NC?

Is there any chance you would give it one last try with your dh? Then if after giving it your all you can walk away knowing you tried? Maybe since you started ea with om, you have given up on dh? Your kids are so young it would be a shame to not at least try once more, or have you your heart set on it. Things always seem like the grass is greener etc but have you really thought out this. What if your guy from work doesn't end up leaving his partner, would you still be happy to be gone from your husband? I'm not judging btw just giving my opinion or advice as it is. Its a good idea to have NC though it will give you both space to sort stuff out in your heads .

Well, no, "everything you have" is not your husband's - you're married, therefore "everything you have" = marital assets.

If I were you, I'd start looking to up your hours/find another job and start planning how to separate.

There's a non-contact thread on here you could join.

Fairyface - thanks for the response. It was like that before colleague came along. I've tried so many times and it just isn't enough. It doesn't matter to me if colleague leaves his partner or not to be honest as amazing as he is I don't want to jump from one thing to another. The only thing honestly that's stopped me before is the kids but I just think would my kids be better off with a mum and Dad apart who love them enormously and are happy. Or mum and Dad together showing them what a loving marriage really isn't supposed to be? I've tried in so many ways, so many times. He is ignorant to it all. He thinks it's all okay as we do stuff together occasionally or we talk about mundane stuff. There's no passion,romance etc and I get that it's normal day to day life, work, kids, dinner etc but at 36 I really shouldn't feel unwanted and only around to be a mum