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Original poster

One night stands and orgasms?

11 replies

FairyFace · 30/04/2018 12:24

Just curious... I have had plenty of ons and whilst I have enjoyed most of them, I've never actually had an orgasm, is this normal? I think its because in truth I probably wasn't comfortable with the other person.. Just interested to know if this is the case for many?

OP posts:
Aprilmightbemynewname · 30/04/2018 12:26

Back in the day when I had ons actually the opposite was true for me!! I had the confidence to 'go for it' with a virtual stranger whereas quite shy usually!!

Original poster
FairyFace · 30/04/2018 12:29

April, I think I always had a skewed vision of what it entailed as a teenager, I worried too much about pleasing the man and less about enjoying it myself, hence it sort of stayed with me until I met DH and even then it took me years to really let go. Lucky you! x

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 30/04/2018 12:32

Whaaaaat?

The only point of a ons for me was for good no strings sex, which meant orgasm! But I was happy to make it happen myself. Would not bother otherwise.

You do have to feel comfortable and relaxed though which can be tricky with someone you don't know well.

overmydeadbody · 30/04/2018 12:34

I haven't had one in years though, happily married now!Smile

Yes I imagine if you have a skewed view that sex is about pleasuring a man that will make things tricky.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 30/04/2018 12:38

Fairy - I don't know you meant in our teens - I was 36 when I had the best ons ever!

PookieDo · 30/04/2018 13:54

I have never found them to be enjoyable, mainly because I get really anxious and am not relaxed enough. I really do need to bond of trust to let go. I often wish it wasn’t this way!

Ridiculouslyso · 30/04/2018 16:12

I also need an emotional connection before relaxing enough to have an orgasm so a ONS wouldn't do it for me - I don't think.

Addictedtohavingbabies · 30/04/2018 16:18

When single I did have flings and one night stands, but they wouldn't satisfy me sexually or emotionally. I preferred sex toys for orgasms.
I have strong orgasms with my partner, we know exactly what we both like and we're not shy about it. I think for me at least that I need a strong emotional connection to get the most physical safisfaction.

Childrenofthesun · 30/04/2018 16:21

No, I never had one with a ONS, (though it's been many years since I had one) althiugh I've always had orgasms when I'm in a relationship. I had usually consumed a fair bit of alcohol so maybe that had something to do with it!

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 30/04/2018 16:25

Could it be that ons invariably involve alcohol consumption. Alcohol makes orgasms harder to achieve in my opinion

Oblomov18 · 30/04/2018 16:29

No I never had one on a ons, only ever in a relationship where I guess I was more comfortable and we learnt what eachother liked.

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