I want to move, Husband wants to stay.

[OwlRave]

For a long while now, nearly over a year, my Husband and I have been planning a move to another city about 5 hours away from where we live now.

Now, less than a month away from the decided moving date, I finally figured out that he did not really want it at all. DH is not the "share my feelings" type and I'm not really sure why he never told me the truth until now.

Did he not want to hurt my feelings? Was he afraid to say that he was afraid of something so new?

I suppose now it doesn't matter.

I agreed to stay at our old home, so he could have some comfort but now I seemed to have put myself in a hard position where I am now the one suffering. I hate our city, I dislike our family, I have zero friends and have no room to make new plans through this anger I have for myself for not sticking to the original plan.

I wanted this so much and right now I just need a little advice on what I should do now.

Part of me wants to say "F--- him, take the kid and go anyway." But the other part says, "You love him enough to stay, let's see how this plays out."

What can I possibly do, besides making a pros and cons list (already did and wasn't very helpful) to help me decide?

I'd be asking myself why I had no friends first off. If you don't have any now, what makes you think you'd have any if you move somewhere else?

Sounds to me as if he was doing it all for you but has realised it's not right for him. Your post is all very "me, me, me". Nothing about "him" or "us" at all. That speaks volumes in my opinion.

If the grass looks greener somewhere else, tend to your grass.

I agree with the above poster who asks why you have no friends and why you expect this to change. What is it you hate about your family? Are they overbearing? Always on your doorstep? Interfere in your relationship? What is it about the city 5 hours away (aside from being far from your family), that you think will magically transform your life? I think you need to identify exactly what it is that you're trying to run from, because IME running away from your problems is ineffective. They have a nasty habit of following you, unless you're honest with yourself about why you want to move and try to get to the root of those issues.

I'm sorry if I gave off the impression I wanted friends. 🤔 I had only mentioned that to show I had no ties here besides my immediate family (husband and son) but I will take into account both of your views.

I hate our city, I dislike our family, I have zero friends

Another one saying you need to look at why you seem to hate or dislike everyone and everything. Moving won't change a thing if you are unable to be happy in your own skin.

@TwitterQueen1

You make a good point, "Moving won't change a thing if you are unable to be happy in your own skin."

It is something I have been working on and find difficult to do.

I won't waste your time explaining the rough background I had come from, as everyone can relate to hardship some way or another, but since I have been sober I seem to struggle more with self love.