Can you ever escape the feeling of being left carrying the weight?

[Pixikitten0123]

Is it normal to feel as though you’ve been left with all the responsibilities and your ex is completely free of everything?
I’ve been left with two kids one of which is pretty sick at the moment, I’ve kept him in the loop as far as her many hospital appointments go. She’s in hospital tomorrow and apparently her father can’t get time off to support her. Unless I contact him to update he never calls/texts to see how she is. He’s pretty angry with me even though he was the one to leave - part of it might be that he’s been caught out lying on several occasions now. He should be getting my divorce petition this week. He has contact once a fortnight for a few hours. I can’t help thinking I’ve got the rough end of the deal here while he’s able to enjoy life. Clearly I’m having a down day 😔

Hi OP. I just wanted to say, I know how you feel, I feel the very same way. I’m 30 and studying a masters. I have two children from two different relationships (one 6 years one 3 years).
Both fathers go on holiday every year. The father of my eldest is particularly a wanker, even when my son was asking for more time, and I went to a solicitor to try and get contact agreed, he used it as an opportunity to personally attack me.
Focus on yourself and your children, build up your network, make sure you make time for yourself. I pushed and pushed to my eldest ds to have more time with his dad and eventually my ds got some, maybe you need to do some pushing, however that will completely depend on your circumstances. Was the break up amicable?
He has equal rights and RESPONSIBILITY.
As your daughter is unwell, this will be a tough time I hope she’s okay.

Hi, the break up has been terrible. He works away all week and I called him to see if he was on his way and he said he wasn’t coming home. Have since found out he’s “renting a room” from his ex girlfriend as his bank statement came to mine and I accidentally opened it. My little girl has been sick - pretty seriously for the last five years, waiting for brain surgery at some point. I feel really let down.

OP, your daughters health should come before anything, he should be there for her as much as you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Could you phone/ meet with him to discuss these issues? Tell him you feel alone with your children, that he really ought to be making more effort, and that regardless of his and your feelings towards each other he should be a good father.
I don’t know he details of what’s happened...I don’t know how appropriate a conversation like that would be?
It will get easier OP, it really will.

Thank you for your responses, he’s refusing to speak or spend any time with me. Today went really well and I did manage to treat myself in Karen Millen!! Haven’t treated myself in years! Got home to two letters for him - he’s clearly still not redirected his mail and knows that I’m now binning them - so I opened them to shred name/address off and he’s over his credit card limit. Do I feel guilty after my lovely day treating my little girl and me? Not one bit! 😂

I'd leave him to it, and no, he's got the rough end, he is missing out and will never be able to recoup all those magical moments our children bring to us; he's the looser here.

I'd honestly not expect anything from him; as long as she has you to love her she'll be fine, no point in telling someone they are shit when they are shit.