Would you say I was a mistress/ow?

[evergreen7]

I have been called that (by someone on the EXs side) however I'm not sure if it's severe enough to warrant the label of "mistress" - that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for the way it happened.

Me and DP knew each other a few years before we became a couple, we both had quite strong feelings for each other (neither of us knew about) but due to many very complicated circumstances we both thought the other was "off limits" so we got on with our lives, I tried my best to let go of those feelings but they never seemed to fade like other crushes usually did over time.
Mine and DPs families would socialise with each other and one night at a family event we both had a few drinks, danced together and kissed. He had a girlfriend of 15months at that time who wasn't there.

The next day he went straight to the GFs house, apologised told her about it and ended things. She was obviously very angry with him and upset.
The day after he asked my DF(ather) for a drink and asked his permission to take me out on a date (he did it out of respect as due to families being close and a few other circumstances it was a bit of a delicate topic).

He then asked me out on a date and we've been together ever since (8 years and 2DCs now). He has always told me that he knew how he felt about me and what he wanted and he just regrets what happened with his ex as she was genuinely nice and he wishes he ended things earlier and more amicably and not the way it happened. But obviously he also thought there was no chance of anything happening between us due to the various complications.

However I have recently thought back to how one of the EXs family members called me a s**t and "his mistress" when we accidentally bumped into each other some time after it happened. It still makes me feel bad and sad and I wish things really happened differently but I don't know if I deserved to be called those things and just wanted to know what other people thought?

Me and DP love each other very much and we make each other happy, we both feel that we would have done things differently if we knew our feelings were mutual and I don't think we had an an affair, it was one kiss.

I am prepared to be told I am those things even though it makes me feel terrible even after all this time.
I just never asked anyones opinion on this before but it's always been at the back of my mind.

Why on earth are you worried about this 8 years later? Forget some random comment made years ago and move on with your life.

The reasons didn't magically disappear @Isetan but I think it was just a push for us to try to be together regardless of the complications especially as we both realised we felt the same about each other.

I didn't mean for it to sound judgy, it's just from what I've gathered (not just from DP) she wouldn't/avoided introducing him to her family as he was not "right" (what they expected), he made a big commitment and was a huge help for her at a very hard time and they went away to celebrate once it was all resolved and she arranged to meet with a relative who pulled up in their car, she got in it and took off and left him in the middle of a huge city abroad in the middle of their day out without letting him know anything (this probably links to the family thing). DP has always been quite open and family orientated so I think the family element for him was a big thing.

I know what happened wasn't right, he did try to be as fair as possible and came clean straight away, apologised and explained but in an ideal world it should have happened before the kiss.

Hmmm, so she was awful but not awful enough to leave without securing a warm bed first. I know you mean well OP but the more you write, doesn’t paint him in a better light.

It sounds like you feel bad about a situation that was your H’s responsibility and it doesn’t sound like he’s losing any sleep over it. However, this was eight years ago!!! Is there really nothing of more importance than this going on in your life?