I have to go for a lie down after my father visits because I feel completely and utterly drained.
Visits last for 1 hour or just under, so they're not even that long, but it takes me as long, if not longer to recover!
He is very very overbearing and self centred. He will talk/play with 2 very excited DCs for all of 10 minutes before hes talking over them extremely loudly to tell us about something which is purely of interest to him. Hes often very negative and talks at us about things hes annoyed with. We have to make him 2 hot drinks and a sandwich often when he visits, which isn't ideal when trying to entertain 2 DCs who are climbing all over him and shouting for his attention whilst he bores us with very loud stories and shows little attention in our lives at all.
We suspect he is strongly on the spectrum, he lives alone and doesnt have many friends or family.
I feel annoyed at myself that I let him drain me of energy so much in my own home to the point I have to lie down in the quiet afterwards. I wish I was stronger to it, but with young DCs its just too much.
The DCs play up because hes ignoring them for the majority of his visit and I end up having to deal with bad behaviour whilst DF talks at us loudly and at speed!
I feel as though I have my head inside a washing machine the whole time he's here. How do I rectify this?
Do other people find it easier to visit parents at their homes as opposed to having them over to yours?
DF will not have us over to his house as it is filthy and he is embarrassed. Plus, I wont take the DCs there as he hasnt cleaned in years and smokes inside the house!
I dont want to go NC, but has anyone any ideas on how to make these visits more tolerable or how to see DF without him coming to our house and causing chaos each time?
I think what grates on me more than anything is the offer of help he always gives right at the end of each visit "you will call me if you need anything won't you."
I know better than to bother asking as its always much more hassle than its worth. He has never even taken the DCs to the park which is in walking distance if we've been busy when he visits, he just seems to expect us to wait on him.
The visits are weekly or fortnightly if we are available.