I have come to the conclusion that I need to end my marriage and I am terrified. My dh had a very short lived affair 7 years ago after a very difficult time in our lives. We had counselling,worked really really hard on our marriage renewed vows etc and where stronger than ever. Really happy, supportive, friends 50/50 parenting/house work honestly it felt perfect.
Our lives were hit by another tragedy 2 years ago and we supported each other through it then at Xmas I discovered texts between him and another women (nothing flirty or inappropriate) but just over friendly and I had previously asked him not to message this person. I just had a feeling about her (I have never done this before.)
Anyway the scales fell from my eyes that day and I realised I would always be second to his choices that when things got tough (not even in our marriage just in life) he would look outside the marriage for something. We have been back to counselling since February but at Easter I just gave up nothing is changing,I don’t want to live like this anymore. These texts undid all the work we put in all the forgiveness everything it’s like the last 7 years didn’t happen. Which perhaps shows how fragile we really were underneath.
I have been with him since I was 16 we have 2 dds 8&11 who think he is amazing and wonderful. We had decided to wait until we had organise finances to split but I can’t wait (was supposed to be next April due to inheritance and sale of house.) He doesn’t agree to the split so the living together separate isn’t working it’s just Limbo.
So I have decided that it needs to be July. Dd1 is taking her SATS, then has prom and a leavers holiday and I don’t want to rain all over that. Plus we both work in schools so thought summer would be best as we can be around more to support dds and do it gently as possible.
I am so scared I have never lived alone, never been single, never dated,(not that I can see that on the horizon anytime soon but until Easter we had a great sex life so stupidly that worries me too) never run a house or figured out bills. I am worried for the future I am worried for my dds they have such a perfect little life- I don’t hate my Dh I hope we can be friendly and 50/50 parent but it just feels HUGE. 17 years my whole adult life! He’s a good man, good dad, just a shitty husband.
Anyone else been here?