Arguments: are things said in anger true...?

[lemony7]

DH and I had an argument this morning. It ended with him telling me he wants to leave us but can’t because DD and I need him.

This is the worst thing he could have said. I’ve been struggling recently with poor physical and mental health. I am aware I need a lot of help, and that he didn’t sign up for a disabled wife.

I felt I have been making such progress with my mental health, but now the dark, dangerous thoughts have come flooding back.

DD is very difficult. She is such hard work, constantly arguing. It’s exhausting dealing with her.

He has apologised many times since then and said he didn’t mean it. But he has voiced my greatest fear: he is here because he HAS to be. I don’t know what to do now. He has hurt me tremendously.

Are things said in anger from a place of truth?

Perhaps it was true, but only at that moment, or only sometimes.

For example, you wrote that your DD is difficult and yet you love her and wouldn't leave her because she needs you and because you love her.

I expect that the reason he doesn't go is because he loves you.

Sometimes they are. Sometimes people say things that they know will really hurt, for that reason, regardless of whether they're true. You need to talk it out.

Sometimes you say things that feel true in that second, or simply because you’re in pain and so you want to cause someone else pain...but I believe, like many things in life, you can look back and think “what the fuck was I thinking?” And feel awful.
If the thoughts are bad, are in touch with a CPN or intensive home treatment team ?

I think sometimes you say the thing that you know will cause the person the most pain, and to be honest if we are close to someone we know what will cause them the most pain.
It’s not big, it’s not clever. But I’m pretty sure I can say we’ve all done it and regretted it.

I've blurted some things out in anger that if I'd thought about with a clearer head, it would've been better left unsaid.