Basically, without writing a huge essay.
I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. Before this he was a proper party animal. Out all weekend drinking, getting into states, life and soul of the party.
Since we met he’s stopped going out. Entirely his choice. I encourage him to, but his mates (mid 30s) are into clubbing, spending £70 a night and rolling in at 3am and my partner isn’t interested. He’s suggested bowling and cinema etc but his mates (mostly still single) don’t want to do that.
When he’s invited out he doesn’t have the balls to say he doesn’t want to go, so he just ignores the invites. I’ve told him time and time again to give a reason to the others, but he hates letting ppl down so instead just ignores the invites.
This has led to his mates blaming me for him not going out.
For the past 6 years I’ve been slagged off, bad mouthed, and basically had vile things said about me, like I’m controlling, manipulative etc.
He was even told by them after proposing that he shouldn’t marry me.
He is very laid back and easy going and he won’t say anything back to his friends or stick up for me. Most of the comments are made between his mates and not directly to him, but I hear back through my best friend who is married to one of the nicer ones.
So last weekend 5 of them went out (one being my best friends husband) and as usual they’re all slagging me off. They then decided they’d do a mass “delete roundandround off of Facebook” so all 4 of them deleted me on the same night, bar my friends husband.
I just feel like a right mug as my partner doesn’t stick up for me as he doesn’t want to cause a row. In a way I want him to cut contact with them, but they’ve been friends for 15 years.
But on the other hand if he cut contact then would that make me look controlling and like they are right in what they think about me?
I’d like him to have the guts to stand up and stick up for me and his 2 kids, rather than just let the years of slagging off and games continue, but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.