Sons birthday party

[Paninaro]

Hi
Have been informed by ex, that her grown up daughter has informed her that I am not wanted at my sons 4th birthday party next month. Me and ex separated for couple of years and get on okay, sharing parental responsibility and have gotten past the separation.
I was at party last year, although ex son was not there. My Son was excited about me helping at party, until recently after spending time with his big sister, there is a large age gap and son looks up to them greatly.
Ex has said it is not her choice about not wanting me there, and I am always therefore son and helping out ex with various things.
I am upset and angry, that I am being excluded from birthday party, and get on okay with others in her family.

Not sure what to do ? Turn up at party (it is at a public place) ?

Sorry, but who and what?
Who doesn't want you there and why?

Your son's half sister doesn't wNt you at your son's party or am I reading wrong?

Your ex's daughter who isn't yours doesn't want you there? Is that correct? I'm guessing you've never done anything to upset her?

In that case why is it here right to decide. It's about your DS not her and assuming you are contributing to the party cost I would go for my son. End of.

Your exs new partners daughter doesn't want you at your own sons birthday party?! Is that right? Tell her to fuck off you're going, he's your son!

Apologies for not wording it right, English not strong point.
My ex, has a grown up daughter from previous relationship, does not want me to go to party. The daughter does not speak to me after the split with her mum.

I was expecting to go to the party, as me and ex are on good terms now, but her daughter (in her mid 20’s) decided she was going and did not want me there, so I have been told not to go

Whoever is hosting the party can decide who is invited. If your ex is hosting the party and has told you to come, then I would go as it sounds like you are still invited. If ex has uninvited you because her older daughter isn’t comfortable with you being there, then you aren’t invited and no I wouldn’t just show up. If you aren’t able to attend, why not have a second party for your son when you see him next?

Whoever has organised and paid for the party has the right to invite or not invite whoever they choose. A lot of separated parents do manage to be amicable enough to include their ex in their plans, for the sake of the children, but the truth is, if your ex and/or her daughter have arranged the party, they are not obliged to invite you.

Could you organise a separate party or treat with your son during your contact time?

Snap!

It's not clear if your Ex is just letting you know how her daughter feels it if she's actually uninviting you. You need to clarify that.

If your Ex doesn't have an issue with you being there...then you should go.

Her daughter is making this about her and not thinking of your son.

In fact having just written that out...I'd go if I was you.

I'm sure there's a backstory (which you're very aware of) as to why she doesnt want you there though.

Find out what your son wants as a present and focus on him having fun on the day.

It really isn't fair on your son that you can't be there because his big sister doesn't want you there.
And your ex should put her foot down on people being civil to each other for the sake of the little one.
But, she's not, and I'd guess you're lucky to be in good terms with your ex if the split led to her DD not speaking to you.
So, don't be that person and keep away from the party if you've been told not to go.
If you really do want to go, then I'd do my best to be in good terms (or civil terms) with former SD.