Is this emotional abuse or something else? TMI sex

[CrapSuzettes]

DP and I have children, together 12 years.

A year ago I stopped having sex with him because its horrible and he has terrible hygiene.

He knows and we spoke about it. He says he will change but doesnt.

During that time a few times a month i would ask or beg for a hug, if im feeling low. He would half hug me and push me away .

What im upset more about and wondering is that a few months ago he told me he wouldnt hug or cuddle me unless i give him unprotected sex. That if im denying him sex then i dont deserve any hugs.

He got pissed off at me the once i finally caved in and insisted on condoms which he wore. Im not on contraception because of health issues. He says he doesnt feel much with it but he still came so quick as usual.

He never made me cum and is a bad kisser with bad hygiene. We like different things in sex and he doesnt listen or tries half heartedly.

I resent him.

And yes im leaving.

He's a horrible twat!

Bad hygiene is unforgivable. Refusing to use condoms when you can't use birth control is also unforgivable.

He's just terrible. Good thing you're leaving.

Leaving is a really good start. All these feelings you have, you need to feel them. Is therapy an option to explore emotional abuse?

Yes, which type of therapist? I understand they have different styles? Eg person centred, spiritual, CBT? Sorry thats probably for a different thread.

Alot of therapists will use an eclectic mix rather than the one dicipline. Cbts more behaviour management. More importantly it's finding one that you feel comfortable with. Theres nothing wrong with changing if you feel your not getting anywhere with them or just don't click.

Ok thank you

You're doing the right thing I think. Good luck Op.

He sounds awful OP. Well done for making the decision to leave.
Are you feeling as strong as you sound?

Please get in touch with Womens Aid.

They will guide you through leaving and help you come to terms with what has happened to you.

My husband liked very different things to me. He liked doing sex at me, groping me in my sleep, treating me like a sex toy. Yuck yuck yuck. He always told me how fantastic he was at doing sex.

I'm starting counselling with rape crisis soon. At the moment I am reeling.