Post Baby Sex

[MyOtherUserNameIsAUnicorn]

Hi all,
Just a-wondering really, and too personal to ask real life people. DS is 12 weeks and lovely. I had an emergency CS and was laid up for a good six weeks and bleeding for a ten! Before baby and during pregnancy we had a good sex life but now I don't know how to get it started again. DS sleeps in a crib next to the bed, but most nights we end up in the spare room or downstairs as he's not a great sleeper.
DP is massively adverse to talking about things like this. He'll feel under pressure and shit about it if I just said "When are we going to have sex again?" Which would be my natural course of action. So basically I want to feel a bit better that we haven't got back down to it yet and any ideas for initiating such things with a fairly sleepless DS?

My lb is 4 months and we've had sex once since he's been born! Most of the time I'm too tired and can't be bothered, I'd rather sleep! We just cracked on with it but it can be a bit odd knowing they're in the room too.

Word of warning - use good contraception
I got pregnant the first time we had sex after having dd

I really think it’s just getting back to spending time together as a couple (so like when baby sleeps well enough in the evenings for you to have a nice meal together, talk and relax) and when you aren’t so exhausted and have some privacy.

Our 2nd is 10 weeks. He’s comparatively easy (compared to our first), but I haven’t even bothered to schedule my appointment to have my coil put in because we definitely aren’t thinking about it yet! With our first, she was 7 months before we tried, and I would say that isn’t unusual amongst my friends. And I’ve had two straightforward natural births that needed minimal recovery. It’s just we’re tired and don’t really have any privacy as we co-sleep.

But once bedtime and nights got easier and we were better rested, we had more energy to do more than zone out in front of the tv each night. To an extent it’s also just faking it til your making it. Even when we really had little interest or energy, we tried to make an effort to do it regularly anyway and I do think that helped us get back in the groove.

Hmm, with both mine I got the 6 week check up out the way (is that still a thing?) and was raring to go! Haha. But then I was lucky and had super easy births.

If you want to get things started again, I’d say just take it slow. You say your dp won’t be receptive to talking so you’ll have to use actions! If you want to wait longer, then not an an issue. There’s no right or wrong in this situation.

Ah thanks for the replies... wise advice!
Definitely need to get contraception sorted.
I think what I wanted really was to know we aren't the only ones! I shall get the implant organised and y'know maybe have a long enough shower to shave my legs... he might start getting the hint. I imagine he wants to he's just giving me space and time.

6 week check is still a thing. Although Doctor didn't check much, asked me a couple of leading questions to check for PND and had a gander at my scar!

You do what feels right. My first it was about 8/9months post birth, and second just a few weeks as I felt great.

I had two emcs and felt ok after five weeks or so. But I wouldnt put any time frame on it. Enjoy your baby and get plenty of sleep and look after yourself - just let it happen when it happens

On holiday when DD was 12 weeks old. Relatively easy birth 2nd degree year which healed well. Handful of times in DD's first year which resulted in getting pregnant with DC2 when DD was 10 months old. Won't look at me now I'm so pregnant. Difficult when you're always the one who has to initiate. YY to good contraception.

The initiating thing is annoying! But it's not so much that he wouldn't initiate, just that two weeks ago I was still bleeding. But if I sit him down and say " Right-o we can have sex again" it will feel to him like organised fun! He likes the illusion of spontaneity! Ha to that with a baby