Reasonable?

[Confusicated]

Separation - what’s reasonable

Togehther Over twenty years ,married and in hmjointly owned home most of that time.

One day one partner decides not to come home and takes kids to live at a friends leaving one partner completely she’ll shocked and in the family home with all the kids things.

There are obcmciousky practical things to be sorted such as finances, child care etc etc but 9 weeks down the line the kids are still comping in someone else’s house with their monther, and dad is sat on his own in the family home.

Dad (me) wants to discuss the situation firstly to work out what is best for kids and also to work our finances etc.

The empire, who left of her own free will, is seriously limiting access to the kids and hasn’t actually seen or spoken to her husband since.

Husband is heartbroken and confused, but if he tries to contact his wife he is accused of harassment.

She is also a director in the family firm so he needs her uni out to that.

How long can someone get away with simply ceasing all contact and claiming harassment when people try to discuss things like bis for which she is jointly liable.

Surely there comes a point where she has to communicate other than through lawyers?

Wow - this is an unusual situation if everything was fine at home.
I'm sure there is a lot more to this than meets the eye.
But you are posting so the advice I would give is to get a good lawyer on board.
Get some access to kids sorted out.
As long as you are a good and loving father and there is no abuse then you should get this granted quite quickly.

The lawyer will need to write regarding being a director.
Did she actually work for the firm or is she just a names director?
If just named then see about getting her removed. The lawyer can advise you on this.

If there was no abuse at all and you were a loving, caring husband, who did his fair share of chores and childcare, then I would assume she may have met someone else.

If she will only communicate via lawyers then that is what you are going to have to do.

You need a solicitor. Seriously.

Nope there does not come a point where she needs to communicate other than through lawyers op sorry.

The only women I know who have left their dp under such a cloud and go no contact in this way are those who have something to be afraid of i.e said dp. Esspecially when the word harrasment has been used.

Why do you need to talk to her directly? it would seem the relationship is completely over isnt it? In which case you only need to liaise through the solicitor to sort out practicalities of the seperation that are legally binding.

Direct contact is not neccessary for that.

Why did you write it in this weird way?

Anyway, whether or not you have been harassing her you don’t have a right to talk to her directly. It would be better for all of you if you just instructed a solicitor (or possibly two - one family, one for the business). A solicitor can deal with the necessary legal conversations without actually harassing her or you being accused of doing it indirectly. If there is another legit partner in the business then they might be able to deal with the business side.

How old are the children? It is relevant to contact.

Your wife does not need to talk directly to you and that is her choice.
You can ask for meditation but would suggest it is done formally.

There is usually a reason why spouses leave and could you be in denial over incidents?
Do you have any family or friends to talk to?

Nobody does that without a reason.

Actually i did what your wife did. My h was and is a nasty and abusive bastard. No one leaves their family home unless they have to.

Surely there comes a point where she has to communicate other than through lawyers?

Nope. Hope that helps.

Are there any other areas of your life where you are convinced that your needs and desires trump hers?

Get a lawyer and stop trying to contact her.

No man or woman has any obligation to communicate directly with anyone.

No one here can tell if what she’s doing is reasonable or if there’s more to the story you’re not telling. If you’re a reasonably guy then obviously she is being extreme. But you might not be.

Either way you need a lawyer.

Some of these responses are harsh - although not entirely surprising.

I am not sure it a case of one persons needs trumping another just wanting to know what has happened to end a twenty plus yesr relationship.

If I was a woman and she was the man you would all be shouting about afffairs and giving completely different advice.

Anyway, I only asked a question and it would appear she can just do what she like and I get no say it with regard to finances, business, living arrangements child access etc etc

You do get a say in it through your solicitor that is what you psy them for.