AIBU to expect to call me every day?

[Duck77]

So me and my partner been together for over 3 years. He last year got a job that requires him to work abroad about 20 weeks a year. It's a bit random, some months he is away up to 3 weeks some months he doesn't go at all -which is fine. No kids so no problems apart from me feeling I am not his girlfriend when he is away.

I know he's working hard but the communication is poor when he's away, of course he's busy I have no doubt but I don't really get nice messages from him or any caring... it just feels like I'm not his girlfriend. I'm fed up with the 'hi how you doing? x' messages... and sometimes a call would be nice which he does call every so often but he's just not there... I know he is working but he works abroad and I miss him and finding hard to believe he doesn't have 5 minutes to spare to call or send a message that doesn't feel so feelingless ...

Right so I haven't been back for a few days. I've got very mixed responses here on mn I suppose it really does depend on your personality and relationship how often or how you contact your partner when s/he is away with work.

I have to admit, even if some of you think it's wrong I like to roughly know what's going on in my partners life and wish he'd care too.

I have to admit I haven't been calling my partner when he is away- it's because I know he's busy and I honestly don't want to disturb him. I did try yesterday but he didn't pick it up and actually hasn't got any response from him since. I wish he cared more if I'm honest but might be just overthinking it... I don't know, might just try to cut contact a bit while he's away I don't know

Do you feel he doesn't care? I do think most people away call/text home whilst away but not sure everyone does romantic texts.Do you live together?

Have I missed if you have asked him to keep in contact? I think if he chooses to not contact for days you are entitled to feel disappointed.He may not be right for you and is your instinct telling you something.

Well, I've told him before that it matters to me. I don't know if he cares. Sometimes his acts tell me he does sometimes I feel like I'm a 'part time' girlfriend. Could be easily me overthinking it... I don't know, I just wish I wouldn't have to brainstorm over this

Maybe you just deal with distance differently.

You want lots of regular contact and he doesn't - it doesn't make him wrong just because he doesn't send you romantic texts everyday. Lots of people would find that kind of expectation pretty suffocating.

Is this symptomatic of other issues in your relationship? It sounds like you feel a bit insecure in general so him being away is only making it worse.

My dh works away from home.
We have dc and have been together 28 years.

We call each other at least 4 times a day. In between that we text and use Snapchat.

I agree @adaline it's not his fault that I feel this way. I honestly do want him to enjoy his work and being away but when he is home he wakes and goes to sleep with his phone. His first thing in the morning isn't to give me a quick good morning kiss, Its going on his phone... so I do honestly struggle to believe in that he couldn't send one 'love you, goodnight ' text... when he is away. Whatever honestly the day before yesterday I tried to call him in the evening and didn't hear back from him till midday yesterday. Spoke to him on the phone in the evening but it was so impersonal just nothing.