Hi
Feeling lost, betrayed and grief stricken. Going back about 5/6 years ago my husband signed up to 2 dating websites for married people and got chatting to numerous women. Not sure how long that was going on before I found out but when I did he tried to blame it on someone hacking into our PC! Did he stop once I found out....no he didn't, he continued and met a women and had an on/off affair with her for 15months. He constantly denied it every time I confronted him and said it's all in my head and without having any evidence I couldn't prove it. Then one evening I logged into an old email address we had while he was in the bath and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. While he was in the bath him and this woman were emailing each other, I finally had my evidence. When I confronted him with it he broke down and said its me he wants and he promised he would never see her again. Things were good between us after but obviously the trust had gone and I still felt uneasy whenever he was on his phone or the computer, this caused a few arguments and he couldn't except any responsibility for the way I felt. Fast forward to Sept 2016 my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and only given a year to live. The news was devastating but my Mum was a fighter and the chemo did shrink her tumours. In June last year 2017 my DH started to change towards me, he didn't want to do anything with me. He would make excuses not to go to bed and the intimacy had gone. Fearing the worse I logged into his Facebook and saw that he was trying to find her. When I confronted him he said he did it out of curiosity. But it wasn't only her he had been searching for or looking at, it was his female customers (he's a tradesman) and other random women. He closed his account and I hoped that was that. Then came the bombshell in the September he told me he wanted us to separated and told our Son (aged 19) He said he will move out once he finds a place to rent. I was devastated and couldn't believe he was doing this at a time when I needed him the most. My Mum seemed to be getting worse now and I so needed him. But he had made his decision and instead of grieving for our marriage I concentrated on caring for my mum. At the beginning of December he moved out and at the same time I got the news my mum only had 3 months to live! My DH spent some of Xmas day with us for our sons sake then he left straight after lunch. My Mum sadly passed away in February. He didn't go to her funeral. Then at the beginning of this month I found out my DH has a girlfriend and it's her...the one he had an affair with and they have been together since before Christmas! This is where I'm feeling lost and betrayed and confused. Im grieving for my mum and now I feel betrayed all over again by him. He has brought her back into mine and our sons lives again and he even lied to our son about who she is but I knew to much about her so my son knows he is lying. He told me off for telling our son who she is and that I should leave him out of it. I told my DH he is the one who introduced our son to her and I just told him who she was. I think our son had the right to know. My son has always had a great relationship with his Dad and I don't want that to change but it hurts knowing she is there. She has three kids of her own. So here I am grieving for my mum but going through this with my husband at the same time. Knowing that if they do stay together she will be there at every family event, rubbing my nose in it. At the moment I'm in a dark tunnel with no light at the end.