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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage

8 replies

Lilly90 · 25/04/2018 19:14

Hi
Feeling lost, betrayed and grief stricken. Going back about 5/6 years ago my husband signed up to 2 dating websites for married people and got chatting to numerous women. Not sure how long that was going on before I found out but when I did he tried to blame it on someone hacking into our PC! Did he stop once I found out....no he didn't, he continued and met a women and had an on/off affair with her for 15months. He constantly denied it every time I confronted him and said it's all in my head and without having any evidence I couldn't prove it. Then one evening I logged into an old email address we had while he was in the bath and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. While he was in the bath him and this woman were emailing each other, I finally had my evidence. When I confronted him with it he broke down and said its me he wants and he promised he would never see her again. Things were good between us after but obviously the trust had gone and I still felt uneasy whenever he was on his phone or the computer, this caused a few arguments and he couldn't except any responsibility for the way I felt. Fast forward to Sept 2016 my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and only given a year to live. The news was devastating but my Mum was a fighter and the chemo did shrink her tumours. In June last year 2017 my DH started to change towards me, he didn't want to do anything with me. He would make excuses not to go to bed and the intimacy had gone. Fearing the worse I logged into his Facebook and saw that he was trying to find her. When I confronted him he said he did it out of curiosity. But it wasn't only her he had been searching for or looking at, it was his female customers (he's a tradesman) and other random women. He closed his account and I hoped that was that. Then came the bombshell in the September he told me he wanted us to separated and told our Son (aged 19) He said he will move out once he finds a place to rent. I was devastated and couldn't believe he was doing this at a time when I needed him the most. My Mum seemed to be getting worse now and I so needed him. But he had made his decision and instead of grieving for our marriage I concentrated on caring for my mum. At the beginning of December he moved out and at the same time I got the news my mum only had 3 months to live! My DH spent some of Xmas day with us for our sons sake then he left straight after lunch. My Mum sadly passed away in February. He didn't go to her funeral. Then at the beginning of this month I found out my DH has a girlfriend and it's her...the one he had an affair with and they have been together since before Christmas! This is where I'm feeling lost and betrayed and confused. Im grieving for my mum and now I feel betrayed all over again by him. He has brought her back into mine and our sons lives again and he even lied to our son about who she is but I knew to much about her so my son knows he is lying. He told me off for telling our son who she is and that I should leave him out of it. I told my DH he is the one who introduced our son to her and I just told him who she was. I think our son had the right to know. My son has always had a great relationship with his Dad and I don't want that to change but it hurts knowing she is there. She has three kids of her own. So here I am grieving for my mum but going through this with my husband at the same time. Knowing that if they do stay together she will be there at every family event, rubbing my nose in it. At the moment I'm in a dark tunnel with no light at the end.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 25/04/2018 19:22

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your H is not a nice man. Your son deserved the truth...so don't feel bad about telling him. Your H is ashamed of himself and rightly so.

MMmomDD · 25/04/2018 19:29

OP - I am sorry for all that’s happened to you.
But, you are acting out of pain here. And I don’t think hurting your son, and in any way dragging him into it isn’t right.

Your relationship with your H, and it’s slow falling apart - because that’s what it was - it’s really between you and your H. The adults.

Unfortunately - you don’t get to decide if he stays with her or not.

StarlightSparkle · 25/04/2018 20:05

I’m sorry for the loss of your Mum. It probably doesn’t feel like it right now when you are trying to deal with your grief plus the loss of your marriage but you are better off without him. He’s been involved with this woman for a long time by the sounds of it and when you needed him, he wasn’t there and left you to deal with everything on your own.

With regards to you son, he is 19 and not a child so I think he has the right to know the truth. Don’t feel bad about being honest.

Things are going to be tough but they will get better - would you consider having counselling to help you with your grief?

Lilly90 · 25/04/2018 23:05

Thank you for all your replies. I know I am better off without him but it hurts knowing he thought so little of me in the end. I supported him and protected him by not telling a soul about what he did at the time. I feel like I'm still protecting him now because I still haven't told anyone what he has done for fear of him and what he might do. In an email he sent to her at the time, he told her I broke my hand by punching him in the face in front of our son. That is a lie, he broke my hand during an argument, he grabbed it and squeezed it so tight it broke. Looking back and remembering what he wrote to her was mostly lies. Like he was living a different life to the one he was. like he was Pretending to be someone else.
As for our son, I never talk to him about his Dad, that was the first time I did because I was in shock when I found out who his girlfriend was. I haven't mentioned it since.
I have thought about counselling but I do find writing things down helps.

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 26/04/2018 09:50

OP - he broke your hand???????
Why would you want to stay with a man like that, rather than involving the police?

You don’t need to protect him - and mentioning to friends and family members that he had an ongoing affair and left because of that - is a totally normal thing to do.
Especially if you manage to stay calm and not come out as bitter - which is hard, but in the long term is better for you.

Your son is a different matter. I think - saying some things is fine and necessary - he is an adult and he knows and sees it all anyway.
And letting him know how hard it all is for you, etc - is also Ok.
Just it’s hard for kids (even grown ones) to be put in a spot where they need to judge a parent, and sort of need to pick sides. Even if one of the parents has done something to hurt the other.

Your son will still have you AND his father in his life. And possibly that OW in the long term. And he’ll need to navigate a complex world for a long time.
In as much as you want to lash out at his father - think about your son’s best interests.

Mangopr1 · 26/04/2018 11:27

Hi

I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this. It must be so hard.

By the sounds of it you are far better off without him! He sounds utterly awful and you deserve more. I suspect this OW will get a nasty shock when he shows his true colours to her.

In terms of your son I cannot say whether it's right or wrong to let him know what's gone on. I would say that I myself have been the child in this situation. I was around 16 when my parents split and my mother was unfaithful. My dad would confide in me about everything that had happened and it killed me to see him so heartbroken. I found it really hard to deal with that because despite what she'd done she was my mum and I couldn't take an outside view on the way she had acted and I felt a lot of pressure. Yes she was awful to my dad, really she was, and I still hurt for him now when I think about it but I also can't forget the fact she was my mother and I still needed that relationship with her.

Your son is an adult and does deserve to know the situation but please do not put pressure on him to choose sides. It absolutely tormented me and caused me so much distress in an already stressful situation at the time.

Wish you all the best xx

Adora10 · 26/04/2018 12:00

Your husband has been treating you like crap for a long time, I am sorry for your loss but are you really that surprised re your husband; he sounds truly awful, you put up with a lot, see this as a release from all the shit he put you through, imagine the shit the OW is now going to have to endure.

He broke your hand, you should have had him arrested, utterly despicable, you are well rid.

Lilly90 · 26/04/2018 17:42

Thank you all for your support.
My son has a great relationship with his Dad and I want that to continue. They have always been more like best friends and I would never interfere or ask my son to take sides, that would be awful. I could never do that to him. That was the only time I said something to him because I was in shock when I found out about who his Dads girlfriend was. I haven't mentioned it since or made any comments, I'm not that sort of person.
It just hurts so much knowing that she is in his life. But that's for me to deal with my pain and I know I am better off without him but it still hurts.

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