Social services after an argument

[Imsostupid33]

I'm looking for advice for a friend , her and her dp had an argument last Oct which he took a baseball bat to her car ,(I know ) but she does wind him up , the. 2 weeks ago he just came home from work and she went mental at him for leaving his underwear on the floor , she was shouting abuse he shouted abuse back , he threw a cup through the window then called the police because he wanted his stuff. Anyway now social services visited today to say she needs to not see him anymore and reassure them she won't.

Here's the hard part , they are not biologically his children but he has done so much for them , takes them on holidays , bought them a beautiful home , financially supports them , takes them to football training , goes to parents evening etc. She is so scared of loosing her boys all over a silly argument? Any advice please ?

Yes I am the friend she doesn't have an account on Mumsnet

I know what happened as she called me after he rang the police , I arrived just as the police were taking him away , in not that experienced with ss so told her I'd ask advise on here .

SS Isn't the issue here. He is. Do not minimise this behaviour. She needs to stay away from this person.

Why would your friend want her boys to grow up thinking if a woman pisses you off to smash her car with a baseball bat is the appropriate response?

She needs to do exactly what SS has asked her to. There is no chance she’ll lose the kids if she follows their lead. She stands a good chance of losing them if she ignores their advice.

And throwing a cup through a window over pants on the floor and taking a baseball bat to a car is NOT a silly argument

And this is why so many women think abusive relationships are normal. She does wind him up. And that's an excuse for taking a baseball bat to her car is it? Jesus Christ. With women like you who needs men as enemies.

It doesn't matter how much she "winds him up", he still shouldn't take a baseball bat to her car.

All she has to do is behave like a rational adult here, and protect her children from this violently abusive man by not seeing him again. Easy.

She needs to dump him and put her children first, end of story. This is not how people act in a normal healthy relationship. The children are more important than anything.

So, I'm guessing she has moved in with a man who pays for everything. The deal being that she puts up with the behaviour in exchange for 'beautiful home'.

There is no 'lifestyle ' worthy of putting your kids through watching this kind of behaviour towards their mother.

She has to leave him. It's his house. She needs to support herself in a peaceful home and model good relationships for her children's sake.

Bravo Social Services. They are as bad as each other and clearly shouldn't be around each other. And those poor children must be so scared to be in that environment. Of course they shouldn't see each other anymore. What are you expecting here? No-one in their right mind would ever think that continuing that relationship is a good idea.

Tell her to pull her head out her arse and love her kids more than she loves her arsehole boyfriend.

If they're as bad as each other they need to grow the fuck up and part ways before they raise their kids thinking it's alright to smash up your partners car.

A silly argument involving a call to the police? As for the baseball bat incident.... I’m wondering if SS have already received calls from concerned neighbours about their behaviour.

Your friend won’t lose her children. As long as she stays away from him of course.

She needs to go no contact with him or she will risk losing her kids.