Lack of sex drive

[Reecex]

Sorry if this is too much info but I seem to have no sex drive at all.
It started when I was pregnant and its continued even though my son is now 9 weeks old. I have no desire to have sex and feel like when I'm having sex I'm only doing it to shut my partner up. He's tried buying me lingerie, toys, taking me out and making me feel pretty but when it comes to it I just can't be bothered and want it over with. I don't enjoy sex at all anymore and it's affecting out relationship. help please.

Oh my gosh, give yourself some time to recover and start feeling like yourself again. I think perhaps your expectations are too high. I also have a 9 week old and I am not thinking about sex at all! We haven’t done it since I got pregnant (unfortunately I have a lot of bleeding in my pregnancies so we avoid sex altogether). I don’t expect we will for at least another month or two. We never have any time alone without one of our children at the moment so it’s near impossible even if we wanted to. But it’s completely normal to have no sex drive at this point. It will take time. Personally I felt like we were just going through the motions for about 2 years with our first before sex was like it was before. Before that we were exhausted, had no privacy and got interrupted whenever we tried. Just give it time and be patient. It will get better but it’s very soon still.

9 weeks. Gosh that's no time. Your partner needs to stop nagging and pressurising. There's nothing more of a turn off than being pestered for sex. And buying toys when you've just given birth. I'd've stuck them somewhere he wouldn't have much liked TBH.
Have sex when you want to. And not before.

Holy shit, 9 weeks? Have you even healed?

9 weeks????? Try 9 months!!!
Throw in some PND and low moods ..

I think you're expectations are way too high no matter what type of birth you had.
Give yourself time

I think someone needs to sit down DP and explain that pregnancy and giving birth can affect a womans libido.
Your son is only nine weeks old but as long as he gets his leg over and your sexy in lingerie with your sex toy then he"s happy, a real diamond you have there.

You may have a touch of post natal depression so speak to the HV or GP who can get you the help you need and that may also help your libido.

Your DP needs to understands that at the moment he cant expect the same level of steamy sex you enjoyed prior to your pregnancy but with love and understanding you can regain the passion you enjoyed before.

9wks is nothing, don’t beat yourself up and politely tell your DP to back off and let you recover from the birth of your child.
I have zero advice though, 2yrs since the birth of my son and I still have no desire to have sex!

I’m not surprised 😮

If your dp was in fact dear he might stop and think if he’d just pushed a tennis ball out of his penis he might not want sex for a few weeks....

I’m assuming he’s waited until you were 6 weeks post partum to start initiating sex, which means in the space of 3 weeks he’s bough you underwear and sex toys to try get you to have sex!? Is he a sex pest or something? 9 weeks is no time at all, your probably exhausted. The first 10 weeks were a total blur for me sex was the last thing on my mind your DH needs to respect that and understand that pestering someone for sex has the total opposite affect and is just creepy and unattractive.

It's totally normal to feel the way you do. It wasn't until my period came back when DS was 10mo that I really started to enjoy sex again. Before that my body felt weird and I had absolutely no sexual desire. DH found it hard and I did try but it felt so forced so we had a chat where I asked him to back off a bit and trust that it would come back eventually.

9 weeks isn’t long at all my lovely. It’s hard work looking after a baby it’s hardly gonna put you in the mood for lurving. Give yourself a chance to recover, everyone is different so there’s no set time limit for this sort of thing xx

Its completely normal to have no sex drive for 6 months to a year after giving birth. Its nature's way of ensuring children are spaced out.

9 weeks! You don’t need to be worrying about sex at all right now. You’re still recovering and having a tiny baby, there are some women who are up for it at this stage but they’re not the majority. Is your DP really that panicked about lack of sex at this early stage, because that’s really concerning. Give yourself a break and tell him he needs to get a grip as well.

9 weeks!!! Is this for real? You’ve had sex already? He’s pressurised you this quickly! Is he abnormal? It’s totally normal not to feel like having sex at this stage! Some people go months/years after a baby not fancying sex. You are being way too hard on yourself and your partner needs to back right off! Tell him no and to stop asking

So sorry I don't get notifications when someone comments on this thread.
My bf started pestering me for sex around 4 weeks, and then again at 6 weeks.
We have had sex twice I just don't feel like it at all, he now eventually understands after being there for my 6 week check yesterday that my body still hasn't healed yet and I let him read your comments so hopefully now he gets the whole hormone thing too.
He doesn't annoy me about it anymore and doesn't get annoyed when I say no anymore either.
It was a traumatic delivery of our son leading to him in NICU for 2 weeks and I had 2 wound infections which have now just gone and my wound is closed over eventually.
I don't think he gets how horrific everything has been for me, with a new born and moving house at the same time.. I'm exhausted. I hope he gets it soon

Also I do have a little pnd and my HV is visiting regular to repeat the questionnaire thing and we may need to think of other options but I'm feeling much better than I did at the start.. Baby steps

At nine weeks I wasn't quite sure if I was dead or alive, never mind fancying a bit of the other 😳 Totally normal to feel like that. If your partner isn't on the same page let them know! You and your body need a bit of time to get back to normal (and get some sleep)! If you have concerns about it though talk to your HV.