My mother had me at the age of 42 so has always been considered an ?older? mother. She turned 77 last week and throughout my adolescence to this current day I have had to watch with my older brothers her have major life saving surgery, forced to take a huge cocktail of drugs for one ailment and another and a (prescribed) steroid addiction. She has always coped well but age has made her feel negative about her future health prospects and she gets sicker and sicker by the year. She?s facing yet another 2 serious operations and her chances will be 50/50 and whilst awaiting her consultation appointment she?s struck down yet again with another ailment that so far is baffling her GP and not showing up in any blood tests. I?ve just spoken to her on the phone and she sounds low, old, frail and incoherent. I have a strong feeling of ?this is it?. I have 2 boy?s 19mths and 4yrs and work part time. My mother always told me she wanted a daughter ?to look after her in her old age?, well I feel I have royally let her down. I live further to her than my brothers do, one has 3 grown up children the other has none and right now between them and my nephews they do just about everything for her and are always with her on her medical appointments, shopping trips, decorating even cooking when she?s been poorly. I?ve been sitting here at work silently crying cos I can?t even get over to visit her I have to think of my kids, school and work. I?m grateful to my family for all they do but I am letting her down and I have a real sense of ?I?m going to lose her very soon?. Outwardly no one criticises me at all they know I love my mom with a passion but I am starting to feel like a bad daughter.