Is he flirting with her?

[Donbri1]

I'd really appreciate some opinions. NC for this but I've been around for ages.

I'm 44 and have been seeing DP (45) since last May. Very close, happy. We don't live together yet. His 2 DC are young adults and live with his ex wife. My son is 14 and lives with me. Everyone gets on.

I borrowed his phone just now and saw a string of messages....

3 weeks ago, he became Facebook friends with a divorced woman from his school year. They haven't seen each other for years - she's been living away and moved to a place ten miles from her/our home town only recently. They were in a different school to me but I remember her - very pretty and intelligent, a few of the boys in my school liked her. I expect DP had a teen crush too, like everyone. She still looks great. :-(

The messages started with bland "thanks for the add" type stuff. Then, they started discussing our local football and rugby teams. All ok. But very late last night, she posted about a new job and he messaged her very early today to say congrats. This led to a chat about school, and she told him he still looked great. Then, he replied "you're looking pretty fine yourself" and put a wink emoji.

He's keen on her isn't he?

I also note that he likes her statuses but rarely anyone else's. I know people will say I shouldn't read too much into Facebook but I lack confidence and it's difficult.

Thanks everyone.

He's been away with work - back in an hour or so. I'm going to mention thst I've seen the Facebook likes on my time line and take it from there. You've mostky confirmed what I suspected I think, it's not really friendly, but flirty.

OP - in the gentlest possible way - can I say that you need to get some counselling and deal with your insecurities and lack of confidence

this is seriously UNFAIR

this is seriously UNFAIR

I agree.

Unfair, really?
OP herself mentioned that she suffers from insecurity.

She Is making a mountain out of the molehill - being ‘gutted’ and obsessing over one like/comment. And creating scenarios in her head where he runs into her in their village - and allowing all of that to make her obsession get even deeper.

Seriously - if a 40+ friend came to you with this - you won’t thjnk something is off?

This wasn’t a lighthearted post. It’s not a situation where you see something and mention to your BF - hey - what’s that about...
That would the a normal adult reaction.
Creating a thread about it and all the aggravation is not.

OP - you can’t be in a relationship where you feel so insecure. You’ll push him away. Or he’ll start hiding innocent things that you’ll overreact to. And once that starts - that doesn’t end well.

Agree unfair.

As PP have rightly pointed out, there is a big difference between saying 'you look well too' and what OP's partner wrote.

The fact that she is 40+ means she knows he is flirting when she sees it but is asking for opinions here because she's desperately like to be wrong.

Counselling! FFS

So early so many typos!

Bet you'd like to correct my grammar Op 😘

I don't think that disliking flirtatious (and it was flirtatious) messaging makes the OP "insecure". There have been loads of threads on here about infidelity/EAs that started off with online chat. I guess the OP wanted reassuraance, she wanted us all to say that she's reading to much into the language used and to forget it - but I really don't think anyone can say that.

Hope your chat went well OP. I can empathise, something similar happened to me (but with texting) many years ago.