I dont know how to handle this situation. I am bloody strong but this is pushing my buttons.
Background: I recently divorced my horrible narc ex after a 20+ year marriage. I had been almost full NC for several months. He contacts me by email, it goes in my junk, I ignore. Blocked on every other option. My solicitor at the time strongly advised NC.
We have a DD17 and DS15. When little, Ex's relationship with DD was always great but with DS not so. Generally as the kids got older my Ex's abuse started on them too. Never physical but emotional and financial (He's a high earning corporate arsehole). He is also (probably) an alcoholic or at least a very heavy drinker.
My divorce finalised in Jan and we went our separate ways, kids are with me but can see him when they like but for maintenance purposes its 2-3 nights a week. There was no firm arrangement as due to their ages they could decide for themselves.
Due to Ex's behaviour DD is now NC with him (she'd seen him 6 times since Xmas and was fed up with his snipy comments and whinging about me, her and generally how the whole world has done him a disservice and how she doesn't show him enough love, attention etc..
My lovely DS goes twice a week at 6pm, in bed at 10pm then straight to school so he spends minimal time with his dad too (thankfully)
Now, here's the deal. EX has sent me 2 emails in the last week trying to initiate a 'meeting'
The first stated that he felt 'our' behaviour was affecting the kids and this wasnt fair as his relationship with DD was non-existent blah, blah, blah. I ignored (suspected it was sent when drunk)
Todays blinder states that he is auditing the emails he is sending me and my lack of responses. He feels that we need to meet to discuss the childrens futures and finances. The email seeks to remind me of 'our commitment at the start of the divorce process to prioritise the kids'. He can't grasp that I have and will always prioritise the kids and that he is the parent who has a shit relationship with them
Quite simply he has no concept of the abuse he has subjected me and the kids too. I have always been the perfect bloody trophy wife who has had his back and now he realises he's shit it.
So, I really don't want to respond. I want to ignore but i'm worried my poor son is feeling the full brunt of it when he sees him. I'm worried he's telling my DS that he's trying to contact me but i'm ignoring him and how this could look to my son.
Do I ignore?
Do I email and tell him not to contact me again?
Do I tell him to get his solicitor to contact me directly and not to contact me again? This will make him rage as he will have to pay a solicitor to deal with it but I wont.
Do I tell him to phone me and ask him what he wants?
Please give me some advice?