After reading another thread about wife finding porn on Husband's phone I wanted to get some feedback. I have been with my Husband 4 yrs, married for 20 months. I knew there was an online gaming problem just before getting married (about 50 hrs a week) but that improved a little. I know it can go hand in hand with online porn but I asked all the time & was told I was crazy, 'it just didn't happen'. When my laptop broke I used Husband's PC and at first found 80 porn videos. This was the tip of the ice berg. I then found 3500 porn videos downloaded over 2 yrs which must be a fraction of browsing time. 22 vids were downloaded the night before proposing :(. There were also 974 porn story links and1200 porn videos accidentally put on a hard disk I use for work. Topics were shemales, mums/sons, inter-racial & much worse. He was using porn often 2-3 times a day (getting up before I do & getting home early) & evidence of using at work. There were 9000 images of women from online dating sites and this was just his PC. I didn't search his phone or laptop. 150 days were spent on Tinder during our marriage and had been on POF and Match.com during our relationship & at any point we had arguments. No evidence found of meeting women but I'm not a tech expert. There were really obscene records of Whatsapp chats with online women he hadn't even met with shocking images sent with bodily fluids (I won't elaborate). My husband is 41 & lied about previous relationships. None of them ended well & most were just months long. No nurturing, loving, co-habiting relationships in 20 yrs. There were 300 graphic images of sexual activity with exes and 80 non-consensual images of me stored in a secret folder. He refused to delete these at first. I collapsed, was diagnosed with PTSD as a result & went straight in to therapy. My Husband moved out but I agreed to try to make it work if he admitted he had a problem. I'm still agreeing to hang on in there but when I let him back in the house for 2 days I found he had browsed 900 images of one redhead actress during that time & searched for her naked. Throughout the 4 months of finding it all, every single thing I found, he wouldn't admit to unless I provided evidence. He denied it until I had proof. He said it was my fault even though it seems to have been a 20 year habit. It has been devastating. For the first time, I have felt worthless & ugly even though I am slim & often complimented. He is 4/5 stone overweight but I never minded this at all. His family treated me pretty badly. At first they didn't believe me but when he admitted it, they thought it was my fault & coached him in what to say & do if I wanted a divorce, despite the fact that I have paid for everything we own. His Father told him it wasn't that bad as he had had affairs during his marriage. I've only had long-term, loving relationships so I was naive and totally trusting. I'm still agreeing to hang on in there but it is so tough. He seems to be abstaining although I don't know for sure. He isn't in therapy however. I know others go through much worse so my question is: if someone has issues, is the behaviour still abusive? Would anyone else stay?