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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you stay?

60 replies

sundae1 · 22/04/2018 17:52

After reading another thread about wife finding porn on Husband's phone I wanted to get some feedback. I have been with my Husband 4 yrs, married for 20 months. I knew there was an online gaming problem just before getting married (about 50 hrs a week) but that improved a little. I know it can go hand in hand with online porn but I asked all the time & was told I was crazy, 'it just didn't happen'. When my laptop broke I used Husband's PC and at first found 80 porn videos. This was the tip of the ice berg. I then found 3500 porn videos downloaded over 2 yrs which must be a fraction of browsing time. 22 vids were downloaded the night before proposing :(. There were also 974 porn story links and1200 porn videos accidentally put on a hard disk I use for work. Topics were shemales, mums/sons, inter-racial & much worse. He was using porn often 2-3 times a day (getting up before I do & getting home early) & evidence of using at work. There were 9000 images of women from online dating sites and this was just his PC. I didn't search his phone or laptop. 150 days were spent on Tinder during our marriage and had been on POF and Match.com during our relationship & at any point we had arguments. No evidence found of meeting women but I'm not a tech expert. There were really obscene records of Whatsapp chats with online women he hadn't even met with shocking images sent with bodily fluids (I won't elaborate). My husband is 41 & lied about previous relationships. None of them ended well & most were just months long. No nurturing, loving, co-habiting relationships in 20 yrs. There were 300 graphic images of sexual activity with exes and 80 non-consensual images of me stored in a secret folder. He refused to delete these at first. I collapsed, was diagnosed with PTSD as a result & went straight in to therapy. My Husband moved out but I agreed to try to make it work if he admitted he had a problem. I'm still agreeing to hang on in there but when I let him back in the house for 2 days I found he had browsed 900 images of one redhead actress during that time & searched for her naked. Throughout the 4 months of finding it all, every single thing I found, he wouldn't admit to unless I provided evidence. He denied it until I had proof. He said it was my fault even though it seems to have been a 20 year habit. It has been devastating. For the first time, I have felt worthless & ugly even though I am slim & often complimented. He is 4/5 stone overweight but I never minded this at all. His family treated me pretty badly. At first they didn't believe me but when he admitted it, they thought it was my fault & coached him in what to say & do if I wanted a divorce, despite the fact that I have paid for everything we own. His Father told him it wasn't that bad as he had had affairs during his marriage. I've only had long-term, loving relationships so I was naive and totally trusting. I'm still agreeing to hang on in there but it is so tough. He seems to be abstaining although I don't know for sure. He isn't in therapy however. I know others go through much worse so my question is: if someone has issues, is the behaviour still abusive? Would anyone else stay?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 22/04/2018 17:58

There were 300 graphic images of sexual activity with exes and 80 non-consensual images of me stored in a secret folder.

This is enough to kill the trust completely. I'm very forgiving about porn but making images of you without consent (and probably of the ex's as well) is most definitely a bridge too far. Get him gone!

What with spending 50hrs a week online gaming (World of Warcraft by any chance?) and pretty much equal time wanking, it's hard to imagine what stellar qualities he has that would change your mind.

PurpleWithRed · 22/04/2018 18:00

Run, run, run for the hills. Or rather kick him out, it's a short childless marriage and come the divorce you will have a strong argument for keeping whatever you've paid for. He is revolting, and he will never change. His father's attitude and his terrible history shows it's normal for his family to behave like this.

You deserve much much better than him.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/04/2018 18:00

How could you ever respect such a man again or in fact want to sleep with him?
You deserve so much more.
And a medal ..

ohfourfoxache · 22/04/2018 18:03

No. No I wouldn’t stay.

And I’d be reporting him to the police for the 80 images taken without your consent.

snowsun · 22/04/2018 18:04

Please leave. This is not a good relationship.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/04/2018 18:08

I think q question you should ask yourself is why you have not already left him, not whether others would stay.

You were certainly easy prey for such a person because of your own naiveity and trusting nature.

I think you are also going to have to ask yourself some difficult questions namely why did you marry him at all given the many red flags. Were you really that blinded by love?. His poor relationship history, his fathers attitude (what a crass role model he was to his son), incessant online gaming and attitude of his family of origin were all red flags that you seemingly chose to minimise at great cost to yourself. Did you ever think he would change?.

AlReef · 22/04/2018 18:12

Omg I can't believe you've spent all this time trying to fix things; he took NON-CONSENSUAL pictures of you. That's nuts. Leave. Now.

sundae1 · 22/04/2018 18:16

It was World of Warcraft. I know this has stopped but other games haven't. I stayed because I'd run from 2 previous relationships when I probably shouldn't have - nothing like this one, nice people, but I wasn't ready. I thought I was a 'runner' so I stayed. I've been told that I take responsibility for others when I shouldn't. The red flags were overwhelming & to be honest, there were so many more. There weren't any stellar other qualities. Obviously the physical side of the relationship was predictably poor. It was thankfully a childless marriage. The one mistake I didn't make.

OP posts:
whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 22/04/2018 21:04

He sounds very creepy.

YearOfYouRemember · 22/04/2018 21:08

All are good reasons to leave but him blaming you is too much.

Want2beme · 22/04/2018 21:24

He has put you through hell. You shouldn't feel obliged to stay with him, you really shouldn't. Don't spend anymore time trying to fix him. Get yourself away from him. Your past relationships have no bearing on how this one has turned out. He's brought the problems into your life and you need to walk away.

2018Anon · 22/04/2018 22:02

He has committed a crime in taking those photos of you. He even refused to delete them?? wtf?
Is he even sorry? He doesn't sound like he's making much effort or even cares what he's done. He has proved he cannot give up his addictions and isn't seeking help. Please leave him. You deserve someone nice and he deserves to be alone.

Pandoraphile · 22/04/2018 22:15

I literally cannot believe what I've just read. The man has a serious, SERIOUS problem! Using porn 2-3 times a day?? And at work?? And seeking other women on multiple online platforms??

Honestly, I don't think he's ever going to be able to change without very intensive (possibly residential) psychotherapy. This is way, way, way out of your hands and the best thing you could possibly do would be to leave him immediately, take what you're entitled to and don't look back. Please don't waste any more time on this worthless individual.

NotTakenUsername · 22/04/2018 22:21

I thought I was a 'runner' so I stayed.

Plenty of people won’t get this, but I totally understand. Sad

PrizeOik · 22/04/2018 22:21

I am almost speechless, you think this isn't that bad?

Jesus Christ, woman. What does bad constitute then? You are married to a criminal abuser, what on EARTH are you still doing in this relationship?

Get your trainers on love, you need to run away and I don't mean jog, I mean fucking RUN like the clappers.

Ruddygreattiger2016 · 22/04/2018 22:22

Dear fucking god, imagine you had a daughter or neice who just told you that about her partner- what would you advise????? He is taking you for a complete chump, wake up!!

Sally2791 · 22/04/2018 22:24

Can't see this one coming right. Cut your losses

HelloHouse · 22/04/2018 22:28

Another one here who can't believe what I've just read.... what on earth do you see in this man?? You sound an intelligent, caring and kind person, but please show yourself the same kindness and respect and leave this horrible man Thanks

Cricrichan · 22/04/2018 22:28

No no no. Leave, run..fast!

sundae1 · 22/04/2018 22:31

It's true, I would be horrified for a daughter or niece. I think he would be too but that doesn't help me. He did search stories of inseminating nieces!!! I didn't know such thing existed. In 4 months I have learnt about hundreds of things I would never, ever want to know.

OP posts:
Greenyogagirl · 22/04/2018 22:32

Get out now, you don’t HAVE to be in a relationship with anybody, it wasn’t the right time before and it’s not now

User02 · 22/04/2018 22:34

His family are coaching him in what to say if you want to divorce him because they do not want him back in their house.
I would get him out of the house on any pretext whatsoever and change the locks. You said that you had paid for everything, so on top of being addicted to porn he is also a sponger! What a classy guy.
Whatever happens you will be much better on your own. See it as freedom for you.

ShawshanksRedemption · 22/04/2018 22:34

Would I stay? Hell no!!! You shouldn't either OP, there are no redeeming features in what you have posted so far. Life is short, don't waste it.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2018 10:31

Run for the hills as fast as your legs can carry you and never look back.

ShatnersWig · 23/04/2018 10:40

The maths doesn't work out. This little "online gaming problem" before you got married. 50 hours per week? You say he has a job, so that leaves evenings and weekends. 5 hours per night Mon - Fri and 12 hours during Saturday and 12 hours during Sunday = 50 hours.

How the fuck did you actually have any relationship with this guy to even get to the stage of contemplating marriage? Unless you're both insomniacs and neither of you sleep whatsoever.

Bollocks to this "relationship".