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Original poster

Aaargh, MIL rant!

18 replies

frogs · 07/08/2004 20:35

Okay, I know this is going to sound really petty, but dh has just picked dd1 and ds up from his parents, and ds (5) has come home wearing the foulest spiderman t-shirt, shorts and trainers combo.

MIL persists in buying this kind of kind of stuff though she KNOWS I hate it. Ds of course loves it, so either I put up with him running round in clothes I would never have chosen or I have a massive scene on my hands.

I'm not completely heartless -- if he wants cartoons on his clothes he can have them on his pants or jammies where I don't have to look at it the whole time. But for normal clothes I like my children to wear things that I've chosen and that I find aesthetically pleasing.

I just think there's something massively annoying about the way she goes out of her way to put 'her' stamp on the children -- with dd1 it used to be revolting tarty Barbie stuff. She even had dd1's hair cut and restyled once without asking me.

And now dh is in a strop because I was a bit grumpy when they came home and I saw ds kitted out like that. Aaargh. Bloody MIL...

OP posts:
DelGirl · 07/08/2004 20:40

aww Frogs. I;d feel exactly the same tbh. Hate anything like that really. She was a bit out of order getting your DD's hair cut too imo. Cany you put DS's clothes in the wash permanently?

Piffleoffagus · 07/08/2004 21:01

I always take MIL out with me when I am up at their house to Meadowhall. She helps me choose, but as i always insist on paying I control it!
I often say, oh that style would not fit her as she is this small or too long or not tall enough etc...
She then gets great pleasure out of shopping with us!

Tommy · 07/08/2004 21:32

Know how you feel frogs although the hair cut thing is a bit of a cheek IMO. My DS1 has a Tigger combo which I really wouldn't choose but... what can you do?! I moan about my Mum because she never buys the children anything ("Well I have got 11 grandchildren you know...." ) and then find myself moaning that my MIL has bought clothes that I wouldn't buy! Presumably, your DS will grow out of these things pretty quickly...? I know my DS does...

Lisa78 · 07/08/2004 21:42

Poor you frogs...
I mean, isn't it embarrassing when MIL buys cheap tat and it just drops to bits in the wash...? [wink}
(Pair of scissors and seam come to mind!)

Lisa78 · 07/08/2004 21:43

WHAT is wrong with me and my smileys lately? My fingers seem to hit the shift key without my consent!

SofiaAmes · 07/08/2004 22:22

I would have hit the roof with the haircut, but I think that the spiderman combo is not worth fighting (or being grumpy) over. Treat it like dress up clothing and put it in the same box that you keep all his other dress up clothes. And let him wear them in that spirit, not as everyday clothes.

Original poster
frogs · 07/08/2004 22:22

Yes, the haircut thing was pretty much the lowpoint of my relationship with her. I said as nicely as I could that I was a bit upset about it and would she please not do it again, whereupon she went out into the garden and cried. And I got it in the neck from dh for making his Mummy cry. Evil old witch.

Yes, I fear the nasty clothes may well come to an untimely end. It just seems such a waste, since it's not as if I haven't tried introducing her to the mini-Boden catalogue, and dropping heavy hints about things that we either need, or we like but wouldn't buy ourselves.

I'm probably being paranoid, but it feels as if she does it on purpose cos she knows it'll piss me off. At least dh is slowly coming round to the idea that his mum might occasionally be just a teeny bit manipulative, which does help cheer me up.

OP posts:
hercules · 07/08/2004 22:28

Maybe they were out shoppong, she wanted to buy him something he liked as gms do. Is it so bad he wears something he loves bought by granny?

hercules · 07/08/2004 22:29

Haircut well out of order!

edam · 07/08/2004 23:06

I wish I was as nice as you Hercules but I'm with frogs on this one, I HATE those Marvel cartoon clothes/Action Man/PlayStation characters/whatever. Ugly, ugly, ugly, cannot understand why anyone buys them.
They'll be bolshy enough about what they wear when they are teenagers, right now I'm in charge. Have got the same sort of MIL though (well intentioned in her case but no idea what's good and what's not) so am dreading the moment ds comes back from her house wearing something appalling; if he does, it's straight to the charity shop.

Jimjams · 08/08/2004 13:56

sorry I'm with hercules on this one. Haircut out of order but be grateful for the clothes. My mum buys just about all the boys clothes at the moment - a lot of it not to my taste but they grow quickly, and it saves me money- which is in very short supply at the moment. Sure I'd lover her to buy from the Mini-Boden catalogue (although I suspect ds1 wouldn't give a fig and ds2 much prefers picures) but she hasn't got the cash and nor have I.

joanneg · 08/08/2004 14:43

I agree with Jimjams and hercules, although I dont agree with the haircutting (I would go balmy) I think that when it comes to gifts it is like the sweater at christmas thing. You smile say thank-you and wear then when you see the person who brought it! I wish that one lot of my ds grandparents were that generous tbh. They would never buy him an outfit.

Paula71 · 08/08/2004 22:00

MIL hasn't bought ds twins one single item of clothing ever. Which is quite good really as it would be ned gear anyway.

In fact DH hasn't contacted his parents for weeks as they are taking the side of SIL in a falling out they had. You know, it is utter BLISS!

Piffleoffagus · 08/08/2004 22:14

shit I never saw the haircut...
hmm now that would be ex communication...
dd's precious curls.....

eefs · 09/08/2004 09:35

haircut not on but think you should relax about the clothes. Pick your battles. If your DS loves the clothes and you not reacting to them would make your DH happy then let this one go. Your DH would be more likely to support you then when MIL next oversteps the mark I think SofiaAmes idea of thinking of them as dress-up clothes is a good one.

Hulababy · 09/08/2004 09:41

I think the hair cut was way OTT nd I would have gone mad.

But I would relax a bit more with the clothes. Is it really worth getting grumpy about? You don't have to put DS in them every day - why not use them as his playing out clothes?

lolpop · 09/08/2004 10:17

i have a few things that my mother/MIL bought for my boys which still have the labels on...i can see them being sold on ebay soon!

i don't like those kind of things either and tend to leave them permanently in the wash (although my MIL likes to empty my laundry bin every time she visits!)

what i find really annoying is the way my mother says "grandma bought you that shirt" to my 3 yr old every time he wears it (i have issues with her pretending that my boys belong to her)

mamerin · 16/08/2004 20:44

can't stand my MIL after this weekend either. She lives 12 miles away and turned up last night at tea time with visitors after an absence of about 18 weeks. she hasn't seen dd (6mths) for 4 1/2 months. needless to say i was frosty (I have taken a lot of insults from her and kept quiet for ages, she has offended my family, been rude to me and my family and is generally a very selfish cow- demanded dh went away with her when dd was 10 DAYS old and left me to cope on my own for a weekend- anyway I have had enough and last night I wasn't rude- just didn't bend over backwards- kept feeding dd. End result she stayed in a different room for about 4 mins then said she was going. Burst into tears with my dh at the door and end result was him going ballistic with me, massive argument, other stuff got bought in and he walked out. was on the phone 1/2 an hour later grovelling (him)- me I just told him what I've quietly put up with for years for 'his sake' and for her to keep her muzzle on the next time she visits. i am so cross as she is manipulating him . even his sister agrees that she's in the wrong and is manipulating him. for the sake of dd have said i'll be polite to her but don't want to have to do too much with her. She really is the MIL from hell

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