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Can't stop thinking about another man

2 replies

jagosma · 22/04/2018 08:58

Two years ago I moved my business into a new office block and within a few weeks started meeting with new business similar to my own. I don't know how it came about but a man who is a director of a similar business to my own started following me on various social media platforms. He started liking my photos and commenting on my content. I think it was this that was most flattering. Since 2016 I've been really conscious of this and then started think about him. When I passed him on the corridor my heart just skipped. We haven't actually talked much in person at all at this point. But I'd started trying to pass him more in corridors changing my lunch plans and walking round the building more. This has been going on for a year. He's just been in my head!
I've been in a relationship with my partner for 5 years and we have a 3.5 year old daughter. I've know for a while that we are not in love. He's a fab dad and a lovely person. We are just different people. I won't go too much into it. I thought we could work it out and for past 3 years I've been desperate to try and fall in love with him. We have a lovely life together holidays, nice house and car etc but I just think these have been a band aid and my infatuation with this other man has really made me realise that as it's got to hot in head over him I can't escape it. It's also highlighted how disinterested and different my partner is to me as this other guy is filling a huge gap.
I found out recently that the other man has a severely disabled wife with a fatal condition and I absolutely don't want to get involved because of that fact obviously. He recently been messaging me privately just about common interests absolutely no flirting and we've met a couple of events and I think since we've had more interactions it's really solidified my love for him, I have no idea if he feels the same way but I suspect he does.
I feel if I split up with my partner I should be on a quest to find someone i feel as besotted by as I currently do about this other guy. I feel I'd be more engaged in my daughter and happier to be single and not as trapped in a situation I'm not 100% happy in. Am I crazy? Is this a good plan? Please help I'm in a lot of turmoil.

OP posts:
NameChangeAgainD · 22/04/2018 09:09

Without this guy in the picture would you still be unhappy with your current partner?

What is screamingly obvious to me is this new guy is fishing- he wants a relationship with someone despite his wife's condition. To me that is just the lowest of the low. I can appreciate caring for a disabled spouse would be unbelievably tough but to actively seek out an affair at a time like that is awful.

Forget that guy and work out if you want your current relationship or a new one.

jagosma · 22/04/2018 09:40

Thanks for the response!
I absolutely would feel the same had this guy not been in the picture as I've felt this way for such a long time even before my LO was born I had my doubts for how much I was in love with my partner but I was young and thought all men were dicks so should settle for this comfy life.
I agree there are warning signs about this other guy that's why I'm not trying to focus on that. However, although he hasn't spoken about his home life I probably fill a void for him in terms of conversation or escapism. I don't think he's bad for that after all he hasn't actually said anything about an affair or meeting etc. I know you said forget this other man but believe me I've been trying to do this for over a year and it's just got worse especially since we started chatting and in seen each other in real life in recent months. How should I forget him?
I truly feel we are like connected in some love at first sight way because I've never felt like this about someone I'd never actually met before... and I'm assuming he has had a similar experience?

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