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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just sit back, Ill do everything....

26 replies

funnyfish · 13/05/2007 21:16

Feeling a bit pissed off right now, we went out last night with a few friends and DP got stupidly drunk. Today is my birthday and DP didn't even drag his sorry arse up out of bed until 12pm, when he was up he was moping about with hangover refusing to do anything and expecting me to run around after him bringing him drinks and food. I've been bored to death all day (kids are with their dad so we couldve gone out).

Anyway to top it off I am starting a new job tomorow, I'm nervous as hell about it and so want everything ready in the morning so I have less to stress about whilst getting the kids ready for school etc.

So it gets to half 6, DP is saying he's hungry but rather than offering to help me make dinner he just sits there watching TV waiting for me to get up and cook it. Whilst it's cooking I try to get some ironing done for tomorow, I said to DP "could you just make a cup of tea while I do this?" and he replies "nah I don't want one yet, I'll have one later" so I get dinner ready, he instantly moans that the chips are cold and too hard I felt like saying "if you'd helped a bit maybe I would've done a better job" but I kept quiet and said they were cold as they'd been left out a while whilst the sausages cooked. So he left his chips, my DS asked him why he left all his chips and he snapped "because they're cold and hard, they're horrible! They're not cooked properly!"

So putting that little incident aside I was washing up (again he sat watching TV), ran the kids a bath, cleaned up a bit then went outside...the wheely bin is covered in maggots I have no idea where they've come from so start stressing about how to get rid, DP just looks at them, suggests boiling water and then goes back to sit down!!! so I did that, went to empty the kitchen bin and loads of his stuff fell off the top of it where he'd been shoving stuff in the bin when it was blatently full and needed emptying. So 2 burger packets, a milkshake bottle and a crisp packet all fell off the top of the bin, I hinted at him to pick them up by saying "hey, are these yours?" whilst walking towards the wheelie bin with the over-flowing bag (blatently struggling), he looked at the mess on the floor and said "oh yeah, it is" and carried on watching TV! then to top it all off the bag split outside and again he didnt lift a finger to help even though I was trying to get the kids bathed and clean the kitchen all at the same time and it's supposed to be my birthday.

Should I expect a bit more help from him considering he doesnt actually live here? (but stays here alot).

OP posts:
MrsTucky · 14/05/2007 09:40

I was the one suffering with the hangover yesterday and my DH did EVERYTHING.

HE shopped, cleaned, took the kids swimming, cooked dinner, did all the washing, ironed the kids uniforms, fed the dogs and bathed the youngest 2 kids. And brought me a coffee in bed this morning as he was up first

Doesn't he sound perfect? Well he wasn't like this 3 weeks ago. He was a lazy git, who expected me to do literally everything whilst he did his own thing. I lost my blobby, and went mad. Once I'd calmed down, we had a good long talk, and he realised how lazy and complacent he was being. But, I was the one doing it all without saying anything. Dropping hints just isn't enough, as I found out.

You need to tell him loud and clear..make no mistake about it. You never know, he might change. Mine did.
Good luck

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