Hi everyone
This is my first post and I’m hoping this helps!
So I have a wonderful 7 year old and I’m a single parent. I work hard and love my job but I just have no social life. I KNOW people but I have NO friends. I go weeks without getting a text or a call from anyone and the most adult conversation I get is at work which is limited because we’re working, not there for a chin wag lol. So I made a real effort with my friend circle lately and tried to arrange a simple get together at my place to then make some plans together for the summer. There were 4 members in the chat and 1 replied asking for some dates, I said I was free on such and such time but could work around others’ with enough notice. Since then, nothing - no reply from the others about it either. Now I wouldn’t mind if I could find good reason for feeling so neglected, ie if they’re all at work and usually reply late evening or something but this happens over and over, weeks go by and no reply and I’m not gonna be a nag... This is a group that together, we used to hang out, mini breaks and days out together but for some reason it’s all stopped.
Anyway that’s just one situation, I find my life so blue, lonely and boring, I have a great time with my son on the weekends when we can afford to go somewhere nice or even just chilling at home having a lazy day, or heading to the park etc, but I never seem to be invited to anything, or round to see anyone and when I invite people I know to see us, or meet somewhere, I either get no reply, they’re too busy for the next 58 years or repeatedly stood up. On the rare occasion I do manage to meet a friend or even bump into one, I don’t know what to do, I’m scared to say or do the wrong thing and just make easy small talk, I haven’t had much positive things to talk about as I’ve been really poorly with auto immune diseases and a dodgy thyroid for the last 18 months +, but I try not to talk about all that for v long so I don’t sound like a depressed, negative moaner that can’t find the good in anything! (I’m naturally quite the opposite most of the time!)
I just don’t know where to start when it comes to making new friends and getting back into socialising! I have always had social anxiety but when I’m comfortable around someone, even a friendly stranger I’ve just met, I can chat for Britain and would happily listen for hours just as equally but I no longer trust anyone or feel I’m worthy/have anything to offer anyone and that little social spark is so delicate. I’m not here to feel sorry for myself or moan about life as I know there’s at least 64836 other things more important to worry about but I think having friends is probably really important for your well being... right? Just feeling extra blue and hoping someone has been trough this or can share some experiences of firstly embracing the loneliness but then finding it so overwhelming and finding solutions to get a good balance of social and personal time?! Also being single for 3 or so years probably doesn’t help?! Ahhhhhh sending out an SOS 😂🙄