He wrote poems/sent flowers etc to his ex but nothing to me. Opinions please...

[Beegee02]

My DP was with his ex wife for 3 years in total when they got divorced. It was a long distance relationship and they married after a year of meeting. I have been with him now for 18 months.

I am just looking some perspective on the fact that when clearing his flat I found poems he had written for her declaring his love. I also know that he sent her flowers regularly. I am annoyed as he is not like this at all with me. He sent me 2 bunches of flowers during the first 3 months of our relationship and 1 on valentine's day this year. On our first valentine's together in 2017 I received absolutely nothing.

I have spoken to him about this and he says that she put him under pressure to be like this due to the distance and that he loves me more than he's ever loved anyone. AIBU to be upset by this?

You have serious self esteem issues, which you need to address before they destroy every relationship you have. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and only skin deep, heard that before?

There are beautiful women that are cheated on repeatedly by their partners, same as handsome men, it’s nothing to do with looks OP.

Invest in some counselling, hopefully you will find the root cause of your issues and start to love yourself.

What's your relationship like outside of this?

It’s not about looks - trust me on that - even though they say men are visual creatures. Also look at how many men leave beautiful wives for less attractive women - I’m speaking objectively. And I’m sure you’re beautiful! Otherwise, why would he be with you? And yes it is a sign that he feels more comfortable and suggests a stable and healthy relationship.

She cheated on him so she clearly wasn’t the woman for him. Sounds like you could be though!

he was obviously humouring an immature woman of 19 who had ideas about grand gestures (or maybe in her country it's essential during dating). Who says HE wanted to be sexually adventurous or have threesomes - it was her idea and again, he wanted to humour her because he was then obsessed with a teenager while he was 30.

Thankfully he seems to have woken up from that fantasy (with a painful bang), and good news - he's found a woman equal to him in age, and probably thinks you don't have the cliched ideas of romantic gestures. It all depends of course whethe he's good and loving to you if you don't count the flowers. But equally, do tell that you think VAlentine's is relevant and that you expect a bit of an effort. He may just think you ar not bothered (as a mature woman). Once he knows, and same about flowers generally - see if he steps up, he should do if he knows you like these things.