How do I stop the anxiety?

[kafia]

Hi,
I'm just after some views/experiences please.
I've been in a few really abusive relationships as well as going through some major traumas. Been diagnosed with PTSD, and also have depression and anxiety. I'm on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. I also have some very stressful stuff happening in my life at the moment.
In October, I got together with someone I've known for a few years, although not well. He is amazing, lovely, kind, gentle, etc. I've never been scared of him and I feel so lucky to be with him.
However I truly don't understand why he's with me and I really struggle with the fear that he is going to leave, or find someone else he wants to be with, or begin to hate me. Or just realise that I'm truly crap, and wonder why he's with me.
How do I get over this anxiety? I try not to let him know how often I feel it although we are very honest with each other so if I'm feeling particularly anxious I will tell him. He always says he's not going anywhere but I hate myself for even saying it.
Tia.

Anyone? x

I am similar in that I'm currently struggling with anxiety in a new(er) relationship. My husband cheated on me and this is the first relationship I've had since that. I think it's important to recognise that the anxiety isn't caused by your current partner, and to let him know that. You're anxious because of your previous experiences and just the way you are. Although you might craze his reassurance, that ultimately isn't going to solve the problem, and if he adapts his behaviour to attempt to reduce your anxiety, it might feel like it's helping but you're not actually dealing with the anxiety. As much as it may feel that it's your current relationship that is the cause of your anxiety, it's just the current situation in which your anxiety is manifesting. It would be there regardless. You said you're on anti-anxiety medication - do you think it's helped at all? Could you go back to the GP and ask for something different/change of dose? Also, have you had any therapy? I think that's probably the most important thing - to get to the root of your anxiety and it exists in you, not in the relationship.

I say all of this as if I know what I'm talking about! My friends have helped me to see it this way. It doesn't mean I've dealt with my anxiety or that it's any better. But it has given me a slightly different perspective which actually makes a lot of sense. I'm looking to find a therapist as I think it's going to be the thing that will really help me. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine a life without the debilitating anxiety I sometimes feel, but I'd like to believe it's possible.

Anxiety and depression are a bitch! It seems axiety wants nothing more than to ruin your life! Ive been there, and conquered... It took a very long time to be honest. All I know now is I was an appauling wife whilst going through it. It was like the anxiety was desperate to push him away just to 'prove' all those insecurities were correct. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't. Look at this beautiful man and say I must be something special for him to choose me over every woman in the world! Start writing diaries when you are most anxious and read over then when you are feeling better. You will see how ridiculous some of your feelings are lol! Write lists of all the good things in your life and about yourself. Start planning day trips together so you can feel the closeness and happiness with your partner - distraction techniques! You ARE worth to have him as your partner - just try not to push him away x

Abusive relationships can leave you with very low self esteem and self worth. Consider getting therapy or joining a group to help with that. Until you feel you deserve a healthy relationship it’s going to difficult to accept one.

Thank you so much for the replies. They're really helpful.
I am in therapy and my therapist is amazing but I don't really feel able to 'connect' with the idea that I could ever be enough. Literally hate majority of myself.