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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Neighbor in abusive relationship

7 replies

MirelaMaria · 20/04/2018 19:05

Hi everyone, I need your help. My upstairs neighbor moved in our block of flats only recently because of her abusive ex boyfriend. She has a two year old boy with him and her son has been on child protection plan up to last month because she used to have drinking problems and she only went in abusive relationships. She isn’t allowed to see him, but now she is pregnant with him (well he is one of three potential fathers) and he is keep coming to hers and only two weeks ago he beat her up and strangled her while she was holding their boy. I didn’t want to call the police because I didn’t want her kids taken away from her because of me. But today he was shouting at her from outside and when my husband told him to stop swearing and shouting cause we have small kids that don’t need to hear this he start shouting at us calling us “pedophiles” and “thieves” so we called the police. Police came but she talked to them on the staircase and she kept him hidden in the house so they left thinking we are just crazy neighbors having a fight. After police left he start coming at our door threatening us and I got scared and took the kids to my mother in law. I need to go back at some point but I am scared he will attack me when my husband is not home. Is there anything I can do? Thank you

OP posts:
wormery · 20/04/2018 19:10

Contact the police, record it on your phone.

sosks · 20/04/2018 19:12

Next time he's there take a phone recording if you can before calling the police, they'll hopefully have no reason not to believe you with proof! I would also report to 101 about the threats, as that is direct to you. You have a right to not live in fear as much as she does too x

OliviaBenson · 20/04/2018 19:25

Every time you call the police. If the boy is taken away it's her fault as a mother for not protecting him. Someone needs to do the right thing by him.

JackietheBackie · 20/04/2018 19:30

If her children are put into care, it will not be your fault. It will be the fault of the violent man who is threatening them. You need to call the police EVERY time you know he is there. For whatever reason, she is struggling to protect herself and her children.

It us a horrible position to be in and it isn't easy for you at all. But you should do the right thing. He sounds dangerous.

meowimacat · 20/04/2018 21:34

Record anything and everything you can. That poor child, it shouldn't be in that situation. I can only imagine the fear it must feel having that horrible man come around :( also the mother doesn't exactly sound fit to be caring for him.

ASimpleLampoon · 21/04/2018 01:52

Oh for fucks sake call the police NOW and tell them about what you know regarding the abuse involving the boy! Why have you not done that? You know a child is being seriously abused and you're sitting on that information. This is not your decision to make. Tell the professionals what you have seen/heard and let them do what they can for this poor child.

sleep5 · 21/04/2018 03:07

The violence will be causing considerable trauma for the child and it's possible he will be violent towards the child to get at her. Probably worth contacting social services too but tell them you're scared as he has threatened you.

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