Would this petty request also bother you?

[HollyHunter18]

I was really upset tonight after talking with my dh ( always upsetting at the moment). He had gone upstairs and I was loading laundry and obviously had been crying. He asked me where the phone charger by his desk had gone- I said I took it but didn’t know where I’d put it but I’d give it back ( it bothers him when I move anything near his desk). When I came upstairs we had another upsetting conversation in which I asked him
If there was anyone on the sidelines as he’s so cold and apparently uninterested I me at the moment. He said there wasn’t and acted as if I’m totally paranoid. Again I was obviously upset. I took baby from him and put his phone charger which I had since found on the sofa and told him it was there. He said;”
Can you put it back where you found it?”. After doing all the laundry, cooking his supper, taking care of the kids and being made to feel like shit I just could not stomach him expecting me to scuttle back and plug it in for him. Do you understand my annoyance/ disgust?

The salient question of course is why are you constantly crying? That's not usual. What is the cause? I would say addressing that is paramount.

So you have relationship problems, think he is behaving coldly towards you, and even suspect he may be having an affair?

Suggest arranging a time to discuss this with him seriously without the baby, eg couples counselling with someone BACP registered.

Also seek to agree a fair split of domestic and parenting responsibilities. If he won’t do his stuff, entirelu stop doing his laundry and cooking.

Is there more to the story than this

What are these ‘upsetting’ conversations you keep having about? There’s obviously more going on but based on the limited information you’ve given, yes, I would want you to put my stuff back where you found it, especially when you already know I don’t like my stuff being moved. DD has a habit of giving me my things back when I’m doing something else and then I take it back and misplace it. Much easier to say put it back in its place, that way I know where I can find it.

You need to have a conversation when you are less emotional because it otherwise leads to the above domino effect. In all honesty, if an accusation of infidelity was tagged onto someone doing something that I repeatedly said I disliked, I wouldn’t be in a consoling mood either. This type of squabbling isn’t constructive.

It's not quite clear why you are always crying and every conversation is upsetting, but my response to the put it back where you found it request would have been 'unfortunately I don't think it will fit up your patronising arse because your condescending head is in the way.'

Obviously this isn't about the charger though...