How to get past liking a friend as more than a friend?

[notenoughbottletonight]

I've posted on here before about this. Had a FWB situation with a bloke. Ended up wanting a relationship with him but he won't cause I've got kids. He doesn't want any. He is genuinely a good friend, has supported me through times when I've needed him etc. So we're going on a long haul holiday next week together. He started seeing another woman about a month ago and it seems to be getting serious, despite the fact we slept together two weeks ago 🙄 How do I move on to seeing him as just any friend? I'm struggling as I do love him but know it'll never be. Has anyone who's been in this situation offer any advice?

The fact that he's still sleeping with you, whilst he's in a new relationship says all you need to know about this mans suitably to a committed, faithful relationship.

Op, choosing not to exercise your power isn't the same as not having any.

Im was going to go against the grain and say enjoy your free holiday. But I had assumed you would have seperate rooms!!

When you get back (if you go), stop contact. Tell him why, and then dont speak to him. I would have said maybe you could talk now and again when you have moved on, if he were to be a friend eventually. But tbh he doesnt sound very nice. Things are getting serious with someone and he is taking someone else on holiday? Id be surprised if he wasnt also happy to cheat on this new womam when they are eventually exclusive. The plus side of this for you is he is showing you he is no good, even if he wanted you.

You are being a complete and utter fool. And pretty shit to his new girlfriend too. How would you feel if you were her in this scenario? Get some self respect.

I'm struggling as I do love him but know it'll never be.

It never ceases to amaze me how you can purport to love someone that treats you like utter shit and to boot has a new gf on board just to humiliate you even more.

This is not love, it's your desperation of approval OP, regardless of him whipping his weener in a new pot; again, have some self respect and find a moral compass; you don't have to go on holiday and shag him, you are choosing that option, and then come on here bleating for sympathy, Jesus, take a good look at yourself.

Agree with Adora this is absolutely not love, but you are making it out to be. Love is reciprocal, and it is where two people RESPECT and care each other. He has never respected or cared for you - but he pretends he does to keep you around.

You are lacking in self worth and so believe that the way you are being treated is okay. You have also invested a lot of time, care and memories into this person and so you find it really hard to let go. Trust me, I am just coming out of a similar situation- although I was the woman he was dating, not the friend. It's hard to break away, but it's for the best.

I know you think we are being harsh on you, but you need to hear this. You wouldn't have posted about this if you knew deep down that you were being played. You can keep the blinders on for as long as you want, but he will ALWAYS use you. You will never have what you want with him, and he is absolutely wasting your time.

I promise you if you go no contact for even a little while, you'll be able to step back and see him for who he is.

OP sleeping with "quite a few people after him" is making my toes curl, I would say this next bit to anyone.... stop putting out, find some self respect and leave all these losers too it, any decent man will never take you seriously when your carrying on in this manner.
Deep down you will be a loving caring woman that just wants to be loved, but it's crossing over to desperation.

No doubt you'll be hoping he'll declare his undying love for you whilst sharing that bed...

Setting yourself up for an even bigger fall.

Tbh his girlfriend doesn't know he'll be sharing a bed with you but you are very aware you're planning on sharing a bed knowing he has a girlfriend ...

You said in a previous thread that this holiday felt like a lifeline to you because of other stuff going on... So go, enjoy the break, don't sleep with him.

Then when you get back, cut contact. Completely.

Well you sound a lovely pair. You’re a mug who is quite happy to accept another woman’s sloppy seconds and he’s a shit who is leading you on and cheating on his girlfriend.

In many ways you’re ideally suited.