Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I tell her?

20 replies

justagirl500 · 19/04/2018 12:41

Hi, I need your advice please... I have known that girl for few years now and we are really good friends. I've always fancied her and joked about it and she knows it, but it has never bothered her, there was some special bond between us. We had a random chat once about girls making out and she said she wasn't interested in girls but she liked the fact that I was finding her attractive. This was nearly two years ago. Since then I stopped thinking about her in that way and just focused on our friendship, which just grew stronger.
Last week we were out celebrating friend's birthday and had too much to drink...I called a taxi and we got in. She rested her head on my shoulder and I made a gesture to move her hair off her face and this is when she leaned forward and started kissing me. We kissed for few seconds and she fell asleep.
Now, I don't think she remembers it and I don't know if I should tell her. She said the next day she didn't remember leaving the bar ...and this is when I realised that she didn't know. My husband thinks I should just leave it. I agree that it may make her feel uncomfortable...at the same time I don't like keeping secretes from her. She may not want to accept the fact that she started it...and I don't know why she did...Perhaps for a split second she thought I was gonna do it, when I touched her hair or maybe she just thought her boyfriend was sitting next to her...would you tell your friend or would you rather try to forget about it?
btw we're both over 35, with kids, relationships and not gay

OP posts:
fantasmasgoria1 · 19/04/2018 12:45

if you tell her she may be really embarrassed so I personally would not. You are married and unless your husband is ok with you pursuing a relationship with another woman nothing can come of it.

sheddooropen · 19/04/2018 15:17

I would tell her cause it's not good to keep secrets just break the conversation gently for example start talking about the other night how you had a good time etc and then maybe talk about the taxi driver and then casually mention it and see if she reacts

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 19/04/2018 15:21

She knows, she’s pretending it didn’t happen. The ole’ “oh I was so drunk, what happened” thing. Doesn’t your husband mind that you kissed another woman? Or doesn’t it could as cheating?

MyKingdomForBrie · 19/04/2018 15:41

Yeah I bet a lot that she knows. You have to be really blind drunk to actually forget. I think it could make your friendship awkward to discuss but I would say something really straightforward like ‘so you know you kissed me the other night? She’ll pretend to be shocked etc, then either friendship will be normal again or it’ll be awkward.

Trinity66 · 19/04/2018 16:07

I would leave it tbh

Littlechocola · 19/04/2018 16:10

What would you gain from telling her?
What did your husband think btw?

motorpink · 19/04/2018 16:14

My husband thinks I should just leave it

Surely you didn't tell your husband you kissed someone else and his only response was that you should 'just leave it'

Holy crap. My DH would be heading for the door if I was kissing other people.

Littlechocola · 19/04/2018 16:15

Mine too motor!

justagirl500 · 19/04/2018 16:53

thank you, guys, I don't know why it didn't cross my mind that she might be just pretending that it didn't happen! Totally makes sense.
I won't say anything for now...maybe it will come out later on some other occasion. no more alcohol for us two though :)

my DH is ok with it, he doesn't treat it as cheating. I told him as soon as I got home and he smiled and asked if I was happy that it had happened. The next day I mentioned that I wasn't sure if she remembered and he said that I could make her feel uncomfortable if I did say something...

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 19/04/2018 16:56

"asked if I was happy that it had happened"

Hmm aye alright then

SparklyMagpie · 19/04/2018 16:58

And a good first post eh OP

motorpink · 19/04/2018 17:02

my DH is ok with it, he doesn't treat it as cheating.

Sorry what?! You are married!! On what planet is kissing someone else not cheating fgs Confused

I told him as soon as I got home and he smiled and asked if I was happy that it had happened.

He sounds like a wet muppet.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 19/04/2018 17:07

Grin good try dear

justagirl500 · 19/04/2018 17:14

I'm not asking about your opinion about him or our relationship, I was only interested in seeing if other people would tell her in my position. Thanks for taking your time to respond

OP posts:
motorpink · 19/04/2018 17:18

Other people would not be in your position Hmm

Sunflowersforever · 19/04/2018 17:49

Are you also looking to get married in church to your ex DP once this DP unfortunately passes away? Wink

FlamingGoat · 19/04/2018 18:09

Are you also looking to get married in church to your ex DP once this DP unfortunately passes away?
GrinGrin

EdmundCleverClogs · 20/04/2018 17:53

Ok Katy Perry, whatever you say.

MadMags · 20/04/2018 17:55

Are fictional lesbians not gay, then?!

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 20/04/2018 18:01

I told him as soon as I got home and he smiled and asked if I was happy that it had happened.

Yes okay. That happened.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page