Estranged sister and family

[SMJYellow]

I have one sister and three brothers. I live at home with my mother and one brother. Two of my brothers are living abroad. My moved out a little over three years ago. She's living and working in a different county.

My sister is troubled, to say the least and I don't know where to begin or how to begin or keep this short.

My sister takes offence easily at things where there is no offence or harm meant and she builds up whole entire scenarios.

She fell out with one brother abroad. He was working hard and had no time for phoning home. My sister took his lack of contact home up wrong as him wanting nothing to do with the family. This wasn't the case at all. They fell out in 2013 and that was that.

Towards the end of 2014, there was a row at home and I gave out to her. I tried to apologise and make amends but she didn't want to know.

She has displayed an incredible amount of poison since then in relation to that row. She held into it and allowed it to blacken and darken her soul. I received so much abuse and harassment from her. So many messages of pure solid abuse which I didn't respond to and so much more from her. Over three years on from that, she found out who my boyfriend is and tried to sabotage things between us. She didn't stop there and she contacted my employer too to warn her about how nasty I am. All very rich from her considering the rubbish she has flung my way over the past few years.

Somewhere along the way, my sister fell out with my mother too. When she was talking to our mother and visiting home, she came home and saw some pictures of our baby niece. The girl born abroad to our brother that she fell out with. My sister took offence because there wasn't any photograph of her in our mother's kitchen. Two and half years on from that, my sister is clinging onto to that too.

My brother at home has no time for my sister and she's raging at that and sent him some abuse and harassment into his phone too.

My sister is only really talking to one brother now and that's about that.

So that's a background.

I've been into the police but there were useless.

Something came about over the past few weeks. The family dog which my sister was very fond of was coming to an end. The vet sent us home with medicine and asked us to come back in two weeks. That was a little over two weeks ago.

Mail came to the house for my sister and my mother mailed it onto to her along with a letter informing her of the dogs progress and the dogs future. That was my mam's way of building a bridge, I suppose and for my sister to be involved with the end of the dogs life if she wishes.

My sister got the letter and couldn't see anything positive with it and sent abuse into my mothers phone.

Last week, me and our mother spoke and said if my sister was to park her hostility, she'd be more than welcome to come home.

Out from no where last week, my sister pulled another stunt. My brother at home was getting calls from people looking to buy a car from him. App he had an ad up for selling a car but he didn't have a car to sell and he never made that ad. My sister pulled that stunt on me too a few years ago. So that was my sister behind that one.

Anyways Saturday came and the dog had her final appointment and me, my brother and mother were all there. The family in Australia were contacted and were told. The one brother who is speaking to my sister said that my sister should probably be informed and encouraged us to contact her and tell her. And so we did. We informed her the dog passed peacefully and will be cremated with the ashes returned. The returning of the ashes will be done through the vet.

All day Sunday me, my brother and mother got abuse into our phones and then it died off.

I thought is just after entering into my head.

My sister has displayed an incredible amount of poison over the past few years. We are also twins and nearly look the same and even nearly sound the same but very very different too.

A thought entered into my head.

There's nothing stopping my sister phoning the vet and saying something like:
'Hello, this is SMJ Yellow. I had my dog there on Saturday and will be cremated. There's a problem with my phone and my new number is XXX XXX XXX' and provide her own number.

So when the dogs ashes come back, the vet will phone, thinking its me and my sister will then pick up the ashes.

I'm cautious and worried and I wouldnt put it past her, that is all.

The dogs ashes belong here though.

Can you not call the vet and say only your mother/brother will be picking the dogs ashes up and not to take further instruction from 'yourself'? Explain you're a twin but your sister may try and claim the ashes for herself.

Tidiot,

Thank you for your message. I got a call about half an hour ago from the vets to confirm an inscription for the casket, so it's good for now my sister hasn't moved in that direction. I wouldn't put anything past her though.

In my country, it takes about 3 weeks sometimes even longer for the cremation and the return of ashes. I should be OK for now but I will pop in next week and have a chat and nominate only my brother for the pick up of the dogs ashes.

When my sister was blowing up sending me abuse, there was a thought in my head that she would go down the route of true to sabotage the good relationships that I have with my brothers and she did eventually try that.

Then I thought she would do the same with my boyfriend and she tried that too.
Then I thought my employer would get a go and she that too.

So this thought entering into my head earlier, well I wouldn't put it past her.

Call and say that you are having some issues and that only x is to pick up the casket, and to contact you if anyone else rings to give counter-information.

Try to not give her headspace, hard as that is.

Talk to the vet and explain everything.
Then for the love of god, will you all just block you nasty sister.
Block, ignore, delete.

I'll call the vet at some stage or I might call into the practice at some stage and have a chat.

I changed my number some weeks ago so I'm getting some peace and quiet. Another problem arose (something unrelated to this) , and I had my old phone and number on.

My mother and brother still have their numbers going but will be charging but goodness knows what will happen in the background from her.

She's like a raging lunatic and I find her quite spells alarming. She's probably just scheming up the next move to punish us.

I made it home from work. I had a chat with my mother about my concern and worry is in relation to the dogs ashes.

She said that she doesn't blame me that I'm thinking like this and I'm right to be wary and she's saying hopefully it won't be come to that and recommend me for to do nothing for now.

I can't afford yo sit on sit to be quite honest. My sister is a vets nurse so she would have a rough estimate of the time line involved with pet cremation and the return of ashes.

My sister has been ruthless in her dirty campaign of harassment towards me, our mother and our brother. She had shown no shame like she took selfies of her breasts and sent them to me claiming that I'm only jealous of them which is rubbish. She wants nothing to do with our mother but she wants grand apologies from our mother in relation to her photograph display. So that in itself it just controlling on behalf of my sister and shows a degree of wanting to humiliate our mother.

Im sorry you are experiencing this awful emotional abuse. Do you think she has real mental health problems, or do you have any idea where it truly started? Has she been like it her entire life? X

You all need to stop giving her an audience. Time to block and go non contact

I don´t understand why you haven't called the vets office already? What is to be gained by putting it off? You don´t have to explain your whole family story to them, just ask them not to give out the ashes to anyone else. They don´t need an explanation for that. You could avoid a potential conflict with your sister and stop yourself from worry about it by making a phone call.

Jen10M,

She hasn't been like this her entire life. We all got on well many years ago. I first noticed something back around about 2005. It was her perception and attitude towards situations. For example, we used to work together in a factory. A lady we worked with said something that my sister took offence to. Within days the lady knew she was wrong and apologised to my sister but my sister ignored her. They worked side by side for some years after that and my sister went around kinda like intimating the lady, like standing in her way. That lady wasn't the first and there were many more in my sisters line within that work.

Eventually it started seeping into the family too. There was a period from around about 2009 to 2012 where my sister fell out with all in the family and wasn't talking to anyone but eventually made things up. She wasn't as bad or as full as poison back then though.

Currently, my sisters thinking and perception is all wrong. I do think there something more at play here like some sort of mental illness.

Sonjadog,

I'm not putting off the call. I hope to call in, in person instead. There's still a bit more time in relation to getting the ashes back, so I will be time enough going in early next week for a chat. I'll be nominating my brother to pick up the ashes.

Its so bizarre that someone can just turn on a pinhead like that, its so hard as a family member to understand just wth went wrong. Im not entirely sure how you can deal with this, Im also not entirely sure what exactly she wants herself! I would suggest getting the brother she does talk to to speak with her about it but no doubt she'd fall out with him too! Maybe search up online about her 'symptoms' and see if it fits any mental health conditions or learning disorders, albeit for your own benefit x