Beginning of the end.

[Swirlsofgrey]

I'm not sure why I am posting but I haven't really got a support network IRL.

DH and I have been married 10 years with two children. DH had left the laptop on and when I went to use it and found various adult hook up and dating websites. I confronted him, he lied, then with the evidence in his face he admitted to "looking", hasn't met anyone, and then the usual script I love you, I'm sorry, he had a moment of madness etc.

I feel utterly broken, cannot trust nor believe a word he says. He says he will make this right and everyone deserves a second chance, however something very similar happened at the very start of our relationship all those years ago and I gave him his "second" chance.

I don't feel like he's tried at all since I found out and when I speak with him about this, he says he hasn't come up with any suggestions because nothing he has thought of would be good enough and just leaves it at that.

Things are such a mess and I just don't know what to do.

I’m really sorry OP. I don’t really have much advice to offer, but I didn’t want to read and rUn. I’ve recently discovered that my DH of 20 years has been cheating on me with a range of prostitutes...I know that ‘I don’t know what to do’ feeling very well. I think the best advice I can give you is that you don’t need to decide immediately what you’re going to do, you need to have some time to develop a bit of clarity before you make a decision.

Please get an STD check asap.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
What do YOU want?
Will you ever trust him again?
Is this the way you want to live?
What does separation look like?
Could you have a chat with a solicitor and find out your options?
I think you need to start taking control of the situation.

Get rid, he's not even sorry, that's pretty clear; and, if he did this before then I'd guess he never did actually stop; he thinks by saying nothing his dirty secret stays secret, I am sure there's loads you don't even know about.

Honestly I am sorry but he's not a good one at all, I'd also get an STI, as you said:
"cannot trust nor believe a word he says"....please tell me you've at least thrown him out, even if it's temporarily.

Without telling him, get legal advice, collect financial information. Start making plans to get away from this pervy, lying shitbag of a man. You and your children deserve better. I hope you've at least kicked him onto the sofa/spare room if not out of the house entirely.

Also yes, get an STD test as soon as.

He hasn't come up with any suggestions to fix this because he simply cannot be bothered. He knows you will eventually put up and shut up so he is hardly going to put any effort in is he?
Be your own best friend op, and kick him out. You know for a fact he is absolutely fine with lying to your face, that alone would end it for me.
And as others advice, get a std check