He’s dead to me.

[Backtoblack1]

Just that really. After three years of his EA, womanising and constantly being pissed and a general twat, I am finally free. Have tried many times but just couldn’t get out of it. Plus, I work with him and have seen him but blanked him each time I’ve seen him. Dead to me. My life begins again.

Things do just suddenly shift and you think ‘no more’.

You sound strong and amazing x tell me your tips. 2 weeks on spent the day crying because I hate him and love him.

My head knows this is right x

Well done you!

A wise friend once told me (re my abusive ex) that nobody else could make me leave him, but that one day I would feel ready and make that choice. She was only 20 but already had it figured out! She was right, one day it just clicks. Congratulations on the start of your new life xx

Well done! Stay strong.

Well done, it truly is an amazing feeling isnt it.
I never thought i would do it, but the feeling of gaining the power of saying no more is one of the best things ive ever experienced.
Stay strong xx

Thanks everyone. Something in my brain has just switched. Don’t love him. Don’t hate him. Just general apathy and indifference now. Self care now. He nearly destroyed me.

My therapist once told me that ‘hate’ and ‘love’ aren’t two sides of the same coin. They are both on one side. The other side is ‘indifference’.

Looks like you’re living that reality. All the best with your new and improved life.

Thank you nitpick. I think your therapist was right. I’ve loved/hated him for three years. It was exhausting. Indifference is so much less traumatic. Just wish I hadn’t let him mess so much of my life up.

Good luck to everyone x

You are amazing. I went a lifetime with emotional abuse and something clicked that I could not take anymore so I got out a year ago. It’s been hard but so worth it

It is the best feeling, its like being released from some magical hold.
You can finally see what they have done to You, and you no longer try to rationalise their behaviour in your head.
Unfortunately for me I tried to end it , I made baby steps, but never cut him off completely. I was still in that 'Maybe he'll change mindset' it turned violent one evening. I think he could see his power of control and abuse was slipping,.
I knew at that point there was no going back and something clicked. He had nearly destroyed me mentally, it wasn't happening physically too. I had the lightbulb moment.
Don't get me wrong, as you say, it was hard but I just wasn't going to keep reminding him that I deserved better anymore, not if he couldn't see it.
Now I remind myself, every time I have a wobble I over ride the I love him, with I love myself more.
It's been a year now and the last few months have been the best since I met him. His loss, my gain.
I have those moments when something he did or said will pop into my brain and I find myself shaking my head in disbelievement that I let him treat me like that. They're the moments I like, they make me smile now because I know that 1 I don't have to deal with that now and 2 I will never tolerate that again.

Brilliant! So pleased for you that you've got to this point. Onwards and upwards.

Thank you eveyone and I’m sorry you have been through this too. Work os becoming increasingly difficult as he is trying to get to me in various ways. I’m being professional. We are both teachers and I will not let him affect my job.

It’s a great feeling
I’ve been there and have never look d back 💐