Why is he so hot and cold

[Needychix]

Been dating a guy around 12 weeks clicked immediately chemistry amazing. Both been hurt in the past and are aware of each other’s deal breakers etc. Due to kids and work we try and see each other twice a week although it seems like it’s me always going to see him.

We spent the weekend together had what I thought was a lovely time. Then Sunday evening and yesterday I Barely heard from him and when I did he seemed a bit ‘off’. I can’t hold my tongue so asked him what was wrong and he ignored my message until late on and replied with a nothing.

This turned into a few messages of me basically saying I was hurt he was getting on so dry etc and it seems as if we have now finished.

Why is he so hot and cold and how can I stop from contacting him

Unfortunately this seems to be modern dating. Delete and move on (easier said than done). It would be polite of him to say he wasn't feeling it, but that seems to be an old fashioned idea now.

If you spent the weekend with him how was he being off with you Sunday?
Maybe he just had other things on and felt like he wanted a bit of space after spending a couple of days with you.
3 months is very early on, Sunday evenings are usually about getting over the weekend and getting stuff ready/chilling before the new week begins.
I had a late night Sunday and a busy day yesterday and when I got in from work I was knackered and grumpy. I turned my phone on silent languished in a hot bath for an hour and didn't respond to any messages (or even look at my phone other than to set my alarm) until this morning, it doesn't mean anything was wrong it just meant I wanted some time to relax and wasn't in the mood to text/call people.

it seems like it’s me always going to see him

Do you not see that you are making more of an effort, so maybe more into him than he is to you?

Maybe the chemistry isn't so amazing to him. Maybe he's actually not sure he's ready for a relationship or to continue this.

What I would do is go cold yourself. Don't rush to respond, focus on your own life again. Not playing games, but just stay busy and don't fixate on this person you've only had in your life a short while.

I wasted months on the wrong man who I had amazing chemistry with. He played the hot or cold too. I only recently realised I did all of the effort. Without me going to him all the time we wouldn't have really had a 'relationship' at all.

Just realise he may not be 'the one', and if he won't put in the effort too, he's not really worth your time. x

I don’t know whether to delete him of social media now or wait a few days

We were meant to see each other tonight but he has now made other plans guess that’s my answer

I tell my adult dd never to date someone who isn't as enthusiastic and excited about seeing her as she is about seeing him.

Hang on you're off with him then miffed he's made other plans? If you're going to be a hypocrite at least be a self aware one OP.

I wasn’t off with him...he was being very dry with me and I asked him
What was wrong

He told you nothing was wrong and you went on to tell him how hurt you were. I suspect that came across as being a bit off with him, no?

He knew I still wanted to do our plans this is what I mean about the hot and cold...

I'd just make other plans to be honest and see if this is a blip that blows over, if you like him enough.

Too much hard work too early on

We haven't read your actual messages, but you either are needy, or believe you are hence your name.
If he makes you feel like that move on to someone who doesn't.

I have made other plans we are meant to be doing something Friday too which was pre arranged. I think I’ll wait and see if he contacts about that and if not just delete and block

I agree, just back right off and don't contact him again. I wouldn't even block him just yet as I always find that quite childish/petty. Its a bit like throwing your toys out of the pram. Just don't contact him. If he's interested, he will be back in touch. Even if he is, play it cool.