I have been having some arguments with almost every member of my family and I don't understand if its me or them. My husband says my family is just toxic but I don't know.
My father and I are not really speaking. We own a family business, so two weeks ago I was working and my dad come up to me in front of the entire business staff, then standing 5 inches from my face asked me why I had not fixed my car yet. He said I had no excuses and My car should be fixed already. He sounded so angry and soooo unprofessional that I felt embarrassed and asked him to leave. He got mad and asked for my mom and I said she's not here. Then he asked where is she and I said "she's not here." (He thinks my mom is cheating on him. We all thinks so.) Then he finished by yelling "you need to fix your car", I replied "and you need to leave" We said the same thing 3 times in a row. My father is never in the office and does pretty much nothing at his house all day. A few days ago, I saw him and said Hi and he ignored me. He has been ignoring me since. I feel sad for him, I am constantly telling my parents that they don't control my life and I can choose what I do with my life. Its an ongoing battle.
Today, I got mad at my sister. We share a baby sitter (you can't really trust just anyone with a 8 month old baby.) and today i was suppose to pick him up at 5. Well, my sister changed the schedule and the sitter left at 4. So my sister was not happy that she had be with all the kids for that extra hour. When I arrived she said that she needed to leave already. that she called me, My phone was broken at 3 o'clock today, I dropped it and have to fix it tomorrow. I am just mad because she had all day yesterday and all morning to tell me that the schedule changed. She waited to tell me at 3:50.....10 minutes before the sitter left that the time changed. I guess what actually got me mad was that my sister was talking to my mom on the phone and when i got to the door she gave me the phone. my mom said to me "Your officially the worst fucking mother ever, fix your fucking phone" and hung up on me. I was in shock, why would she say that, I am not a bad mom. i love, take care of, provide, never hit, abuse, starve or do anything bad to them. My sister was smiling. smh. I feel like my mother has no right to call me a bad mom, especially because one time (maybe more) she left us and took off with another man when I was little. Thats a bad mom.
On my sister end, I am learning more and more everyday that she is telling everyone my business and what I am saying behind my back. People say "oh yea, your sister told me." This is quite often.
Most of all i feel sad, for my kids and my husband. But is it me?