The right person at the wrong time

[Maria124]

Hi I’m looking for some honest advise please.
So I have met what I think is the most perfect guy ever he’s lovely and hot. But I only split up with my ex of 7 years 3 months ago so I’m not ready for anything to serious yet so my plan was to just see this new guy on Saturdays when the kids are with their dad until the timing right but he’s now being awkward and won’t have them at weekends anymore and the new guy works away during the week which means I can’t see him. I’m not the kind of person that would just let him in my home with my kids here as it wouldn’t be fair.
Don’t know what to do I just feel like finally I have met someone so perfect for me and I can’t have him 😢

OP - where there is a will....

I am sure it’s temporary with your Ex, and some sort of visitation would be sorted at some point.
In the meanwhile - see that you can organise - with friends, family, reciprocal sleepovers, babysitters, etc.
It’s early days with the new guy anyway, so it’ll sort itself out.

Don’t lose hope

I met my now DP very early after spilt with exh. We kept it very casual for a year. He never met my DC.

When he finally did we moved very quickly because we all just clicked and had a great time.

I'm still glad I waited though, for the DC and me. I needed that time to mostly be on my own.

How long have you actually known this new guy? I'm assuming as you've only been out of an LTR for 3 months not very long.

First things first is remove the rose coloured glasses. I doubt very much he is perfect, you can't possibly know him that well yet.

After 7 years I would say you need to spend a bit more time on your own than three months and take things much slower.

I met my now boyfriend about 2 months after I ended my marriage. Together 4 years and very happy so sometimes it can work out.

Dies your ex know about this man and that's why he's being awkward?

Why did you split with your ex? I agree with just taking things slowly. Can't you get a babysitter for Saturday night?

i Have only been seeing him for like an hour or two on a Saturday I think that’s taking things very slow he doesn’t come in my house or anything.
No I haven’t known him that long but my friend is his sister in law and has been for 20years

Can he not come over in the evening when they're in bed, and occasionally meet up in the day if you can get a family member or friend to have them? I know how hard it is, my ex barely see's our kids so I can have 3 weeks of full on childcare before I get a weekend to myself. I also have no family or friends in this area to help. However, I'm not giving up on having a social life. Even the odd babysitter every now and again - you need a break after all!

Can’t really have him over when they are in bed my daughters 12 so it’s hard really just feel like he’s controlling my life but I suppose it won’t last forever. I will just have to give it some time and hopefully it will get easier.

I know how you feel OP. I split from my ex a year ago and met someone 3 months ago. Because I'm still living in our joint home (he moved out), and trying to sell it, I feel like I can't move the relationship onto the next level. I only get to see my new guy every other weekend which is really hard. I don't want my kids knowing I have a new boyfriend yet either but I know my ex would be very awkward if he found out.

I feel as though he is controlling my like too (at least until I sell the house). It is very frustrating.
All you can do is try to see him when you can and if its meant to be, he will happily wait. Once you are sure you can gradually introduce him to your DC which will then makes things much easier.

? i met my dp 4 weeks after splitting with my sons df
weve been together 23 years and very happy .(ds was 8 months )

Thanks everyone for your advise x