Views please: Online dating disappearing act or typical bloke behaviour?

[Grobagsforever]

Hi all

Apologies was going to post this on dating thread but couldn't find it.

Been online dating on and off for six months. No dates in last three months due to massively raising my standards. Good.

Was chatting to a bloke on dating app who seems exactly my type. Very smart, articulate etc. Gave him my number and said he could text me next day, He didn't but then actually called me the following day - took me completely by surprise as most ppl text. We actually had a lovely, 1.5 hour chat and he asked me out. We discussed this Thursday (this was last Sunday). I texted him on the Tuesday following the phone call and confirmed Thursday was fine for me childcare wise. He texted back on Wednesday saying that would be great and that he was having long days (v busy job). So I texted the following day saying he should text me nearer time to make a plan.

Silence since then. So is this online dating disappearing after secured the ego stroke of a date agreement or just being a bloke as in, we've made a plan, no need to talk until nearer the time?

I guess the fact he didn't text me first to confirm post call (he'd also said he'd send a couple of back up suggestions through) and the fact he hasn't replied to my last text is making me think he's lost interest.

It's obviously not the end of the world. It's just online dating is bloody annoying and I wish he'd just cancel if he'd changed his mind. We're both in thirties - not kids!

And yes I know I could just ask him. But I dammed if I'm chasing him. Would like to know whether to cancel sitter etc.

Fuck's sake. What's wrong with me? Why do I even care. I would tell me to text him and cancel. Sigh. Problem is he's the first guy clever enough to catch my interest in ages.

@GameChanger01 - nah, I'm not chasing him.

I wouldn't bother with him. If he can't be polite move on. But don't tar all men with the same brush. There are some bloody wonderful ones out there. There are plenty of women in perfectly happy long term relationships and not all men are needy.

Fair enough onwards and upwards- leave it to him

I'm horribly pessimistic usually but if I'm understanding you correctly, I'd perhaps just think that he was indeed just waiting until 'nearer the time' - there's a clear day before your date. Agonising to wait for messages. I thought my boyfriend was dead or that I'd been spectacularly ghosted thanks to his sole phone dying (no other tech). It was just a dead phone. I was phoning hospitals like a panicky twat.

But anyhow you are defo awesome and deserve happiness so good luck whatever transpires. Online dating is a bloody rollercoaster.

Well then, no loss. For what its worth. I'm married. I don't live with my husband and never have. We met OLD and he lives 60 miles away still. Been together 3'5 years. He's a fabulous, gorgeous man. I don't need him either but I choose him 😊 f*ck the dating off completely, enjoy your mates and keep being awesome.

I think it’s still early yet? It’s only Tuesday and your date is Thursday. I’d expect a text on wed x

Meh. @Backtoblack1 if this was one of my male mates I'd consider not confirming arrangements until the last minute totally normal but in online dating world one has to be prepared for the worst behaviour at all times. Ah well. Will know for certain by end of day. He's definitely getting a text pointing out how poor his behaviour is tomorrow, assuming he doesn't get in touch.

typical bloke behaviour

Sweeping sexual generalisation because women do this too, you know.

I would send him a text today saying - "just checking that we are still OK for tomorrow night" . I would adopt the same attitude as I would with meeting any friend . It's not chasing . Yes - loads of these guys are prats but you also get the non texters and the disorganised and the ones who think you are not interested ( found this last one out recently because I had replied "Yes I'll see you then" in response to a text detailing a meeting point )

I wouldn’t wrote him off. Today seems perfectly reasonable to confirm details of date - the day before. I’ve done OLD and never did the relentless texting. Once a date was arranged I stepped back as I didn’t want to get too emotionally involved until I had met him.

Any update op