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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things are good but I'm scared

2 replies

Swallowfalls · 16/04/2018 09:39

Been with DH 17 years and tbh it hasn't been the best relationship for a lot of that time. We both brought a fair bit of baggage with us in the beginning and that, plus general life shit, has meant we've struggled. I think we've always loved each other underneath it all but it hasn't been easy and at times we've both doubted whether we would make it.

The last few months have been a bit strange, we both seem to have had a bit of an epiphany and things suddenly seem to have come together for us. We're communicating better than we ever have, getting on great and seem secure with each other in a way we never really have before. I can't describe it properly but it's like something finally clicked and we're close in a way we never have been before.

Our sex life was monumentally shit, very infrequent and felt like we'd never really scratched the surface, like we were scared to show that side of ourselves (see aforementioned 'baggage') but even that has changed for the better. We're happy, which is great but feels a bit strange after all this time.

I suppose what I want to know is whether this has happened to anyone else? I know relationships evolve but I'm finding this sudden 'everything clicking into place' feeling a bit unsettling, I guess I didn't expect it to happen after all this time and I'm a bit scared it won't last.

OP posts:
ThirdTimeUnlucky · 16/04/2018 16:19

Well, this makes a very pleasant change from people saying after 17 yrs they've had enough! So, may your newfound happiness last. I understand you feeling unsettled. Why now, after all these years. If you have no doubts about your DP then just appreciate it and nurture it.
I am genuinely happy for you. Smile

Swallowfalls · 16/04/2018 17:45

Thank you Smile No doubts about DH no, this has come from me as much as him and the changes in him have been more like a slow realisation than a reaction to something. Best way I can describe it is that we've finally grown up, which is obviously a good thing it just feels a bit weird.

I suppose I just wondered whether it's a 'thing', kids are a bit older now and maybe it's more normal than I realise for that to prompt a new stage in a marriage. I'm a chronic overthinker so probably need to stop questioning it and just enjoy it Blush

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