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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex and mental health

4 replies

FindTheSilverLining · 15/04/2018 21:31

Hi all, it is my first time posting so please be gentle with me! Looking for advice and maybe some reassurance...

My husband and I have been married for under a year and very happy together (we have our problems but I really enjoy being with him). He has some mental health issues... suffers from anxiety often and has had a couple of bouts of mild depression during our relationship. His sex drive is lower than mine in general however when he is suffering from anxiety and/or depression, our sex life disappears. He was very down recently and we have had sex once in the last couple of months. And only a handful of times since the beginning of the year. This can make me feel quite down and I miss that intimacy with him. Sex just doesn’t seem to be a priority to him.

He usually gets defensive and closes in on himself when I try to talk to him about the issue (and I don’t always discuss it with him in the right way), but we have just had a constructive conversation about it.

I just wanted to hear from anyone with a similar experience if I am handling this in the best way or if there is anything else I can do further? I want to be supportive but our lack of sex does bother me a lot sometimes and I don’t want to end up in a sexless marriage.

OP posts:
newhopewithanyluck · 15/04/2018 21:57

Findthesilverlining
Depression affects every aspect of daily living including sex.

newhopewithanyluck · 15/04/2018 22:23

...

newhopewithanyluck · 15/04/2018 22:27

This is how depression can feel.

Sex and mental health
Sex and mental health
Ginandpanic · 16/04/2018 09:24

I’m afraid in my experience it won’t impove. The medication can affect libido. There are some better than others but it all depends if they work as well and your dh can live with the other side effects.

I’ve been in this situation for years. It’s a horrible situation to be in, for both parties.

Ask your dh to discuss with his gp.
Think seriously if this is the life you want.

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