How to sort life out

[Hidingtonowhere2018]

I suppose I want honest advice here. Been with DP for 10 years. Last few years the relationship has gone nowhere and it's been more friends than anything else. I tried to address it but he didnt seem too keen for things to change and just kept saying in the future we can work on things. No kids and don't live together. In the meantime I was attempting to buy my own little place and he had agreed to help me with my deposit. I said countless times I'm not sure the relationship was working out and he didn't have to still help me but he decided he wanted to. I also said I was bored and frustrated and that I would probably move on and find someone else.

Anyway I've bought my place with help from him. He's not on the deeds at all and I'm pretty sure I want to end the relationship I just don't know if I'm ready to be alone.

Is it a loan? I’m sure if you’re a nice person you can offer to pay it back in instalments
No point in staying with someone through obligation, just make it clear you’ll pay the money back

Hi OP
Maybe he helped you financially as he felt guilty for ducking out of the relationship? Sounds like it fizzling out all on it's own tbh.
I think you will cope very well on your own, you already have your own home! Why not try being single for a while? Or, jump into dating again. The world's your lobster, lol! The decent thing to do would be to have a chat with him, maybe suggest a break and see how you both feel. Make it clear that whatever happens, you intend to pay him back, if it wasn't a gift.

It isn't fair to keep stringing him along and to keep his money when you know the relationship is over. So you are afraid of being alone? Every day you stay with him you are stealing a day where he could have found someone else. Be kind. Cut the cord. Even if you are scared.

That's the thing I'm not stringing him along. He knows exactly where I stand. I think he's as scared/unsure as I am about whether we should really call it a day or whether it's worth another shot.

The money was a gift not a loan and he's adamant that I don't pay him back.

I think we will end up being very good friends but it is all a bit sad.

Perhaps you would be better friends, and without the pressure of trying to save it, you both might feel relieved.
It’s hard to make the leap, but dragging something out that’s not working is worse.