Recognising emotional abuse

[OutofSyncGirl]

I had a partner who used to phone me up and tell me he loved me but he had loved all his previous partners more than me. I told him at the time that this was horrible and he should have kept it to himself but he said 'I thought honesty is best'.

My friend says this is emotionally abusive. Since I'm on the spectrum perhaps that's why I didn't realise this.

How can you be sure what is/ isn't emotional abuse?

Bump

He sounds horrible so it's just aswell he is part of your past and not your future. I would suggest you move on and stop giving your thoughts and attention to someone who wasn't worthy of you. What does it matter what type of abuse it was?

Well I’m going to give dating a break. Whenever I’m caught up with someone though I fail to see what’s going on.

I would consider abuse to be repeated behaviours to manipulate you into feeling/ acting a certain way. So, for example, if someone once made a tactless comment about how much they loved a previous partner then I wouldn't count that as abuse. If, however, repeated comments were made despite knowing that the other person found this hurtful then, yes, it could be abusive and I would think about the context of these comments - are they designed to make you do something you don't want to do, for example (e.g. 'my ex did ...... and that made me love her so much so you should do the same.').
As the relationship is over now, I wouldn't dwell. When dating I think it is paramount that you are spending time with someone who respects you and treats you well. If you find yourself being consistently undermined, insulted, pressured into doing / saying certain things or in any way made to feel inferior then I would suggest that relationship needs to end. Decide what your expectations and boundaries are and stick to them.