Should I stay or should I go?

[Unhappywife99]

I'm a 51 year old with 2 teenage children 17/19.
I'm really confused and unhappy. Scared of making the wrong choice.
I will have been married for 18yrs this year, and I can honestly say it's not really been right. I was 32 when I fell pregnant 33 when I married and 34 when I had my second child.
My husband as never really trusted me, even though I've never given him reason not to. The only thing that up until I became involved I had a good single life.
Over the years it has been a really big issue. Last year it came to a head. We did one marriage guidance session but he didn't like what they said and refused to go again.
We went away for new year. Had a big row, told him exactly how I felt but nothing apart from him saying I want to live a single life as I told him I need the occasional night out/away with girlfriends. He has become old before his time(54) criticises everyone and everything. Judges everyone from what they say to why they chose to do something. Which really brings me down I switch off.
I'm unhappy which makes me feel sad, depressed and oh so angry which I bottle up. I've thought of marriage guidance on my own but not sure how that could help.

OP - not sure what you are really asking.
And your post made it sound like somehow you need to have your H’s approval to go out with gfs, or even on an odd weekend away.
Surely - it’s just something you can tell him about - as in inform him, rather than ask permission????

Him getting ‘old before his time’ does sound a bit judgy - he can think and criticise anyone he wants. Not sure how it all relates to the bigger picture.

One thing clear - seems like there’s been some long term issues with trust and control (guessing her) - and you might be getting tired of it?

Why don't you just leave him? You are not too old to start again. Life is too short, etc.
Do you want to spend the next half of your life with this man, grow old with him? I guess not. He sounds miserable as well. Do both yourselves a favour and have a serious talk about the future.

Think of the life you want your children to have, with friends who love and trust them and treat them well, then set about having that life yourself.

Life is too short to be unhappy and it sounds as if you have not been happy for many years.
Time to make the changes needed to achieve the happiness you seek.
Listen to your heart.don't feel guilty ,it is your life to live,nobody else's.
Be happy.🌹

It sounds pretty clear that this relationship isn't going to get better, in fact it will get worse as soon as the kids are out of the house, I would imagine. You aren't explicit, but from the tenor of your post, it sounds like he has been very unreasonably controlling in not wanting you to go out, and jealous. Both of which are horrible to live with. Personally I would not want to spend the rest of my life with him.